I don't care who is reading this

So this past week has been difficult and this may seem like a blast from the past to some of you who have been reading for a while and to those of you who stumble upon this well... this will all be new and exciting news!
So the reason this week has been difficult is because of my ex boyfriend. last week I couldn't go a day (literally) without someone asking me "How's Jimmy doing?" or "What's Jimmy up to?" or my favorite "So where's Jimmy I haven't seen him in a long time?" Well my reply to the last one is I haven't seen him in a long time either.
**History Lesson**
so Jimmy and I began dating this time last year. All was good and I really liked him, even though he was different than the other guys I usually dated, it was a great different! So all was going swimminly, he came to Pittsburgh and we did the city thing and then I came back to NY and we did a met game, which was really fun. But then I came back to school and he was commuting. We both had crazy schedules and didn't see each other much, which caused tention. So then because of the tention I began to see other problems in the relationship. Such as me being the sole support for him and my being really needy because he was so nurturing. We relyed too heavily on eachother and it was a destructive relationship, being destroyed slowly. I didn't want to break up with him. But it wasn't fair to either of us to stay in the realtionship. Because we didn't have less feeling for eachother after the break-up, it was difficult and he left school and I kinda closed myself off. we haven't talked since that horrible day (ok that's a bit dramatic but true in fact)
**back to the future**
So I couldn't get away from people who wanted to know about Jimmy this past week, which brought up a lot of the stuff that I never dealt with. I kinda just burried all my feelings when we broke up and now they are resurfacing and demanding to be dealt with. So on Tues. Heather tells me that she saw Jimmy in the Cafe. "When, Why, For What?" all raced through my mind. I know the when and probably the for what.. but the why? well that will probably always be a mystery. Because I emailed him to appoligize for some of the crap that I put him through and he hasn't emailed me back... and really it's sick because I check my email now twice a day and like a pathetic little girl I hope to see an email from him saying that he forgives me. But none are there, and I really deep down know that none will ever be there. It just makes it hard. Really hard.
So this difficult week is of my own making, but I'm having Ben-N-Jerry night with Ami tomorrow so hopefully that will make things all better.. (don't I wish)