Parental Training

Sleep Depervation Training
Course Description: Tape three fingers of each hand together and go about your daily routine. This will simulate the coordination and frustration you will feel on a daily basis. And will simulate the way your home will look about 4 months into child rearing.
Mind Reading
Course Description: Spend multiple hours alone each day with a person with many needs who can not talk to you. This will simulate the relationship you will have with you child. (Husbands are good people to try this with)
Toy Construction
Course Description: Construct elaborate, colorful contraptions which come in small pieces. For the final you will be required to construct said contraption using only rudimentary instructions in French and crude pictorial directions. The use of one hand will be restricted to simulate the child who will need constant attention as they try to get to the plastic bagS which hold the many small pieces.
Prerequisite: Toy Packaging Removal: how to get at the toy enclosed in homeland securities finest detainment packages.
Minimum of Engineering BS required
Diaper Changing
Course Description: Students will train using lifelike dolls who pee at will and most often when your back is turned or they are on someone else's carpet. Solid excrement is introduced in future higher level courses.
Feeding
Course Description: To prepare the parents for the trials of feeding, a green bean and pea mixture will be loaded into a baseball pitching machine and fired at random while parents try to pay bills, eat their own meal or maintain any semblance of normalcy.
The clothes worn for this trial will be used by the Laundry With an Infant class.