The End of a Beginning

Right now I'm eating a bowl of soup. That may not seem weird to you but it really is. See it's Febuary. Again not that strange you say. but in Febuary I fast. not like running, like not eating and spending time seeking God's direction in differant areas of my life. This isn't the first time I've done this month long fast but it is the first time I've had problems like this. I have to ween myself off of food for a week before the month starts because otherwise your body doesn't know what is going on. So on the 31 I had a nose bleed. Which I didn't think anything of except that it was annoying and long. Then yesterday the 1st of Feb. I was at karate and my roomie (bless her) grazed my nose with a palm strike, barely even touched me. and I bled for the rest of class (about 30 min) THEN... this morning I wake up and I find that it's 'that time of month' which is also strange but for other reasons. Anyway, this afternoon I was having cramps galor and then I passed out. (*gasp*) I can hear you all don't worry I'm fine, I just got shaky and then whoa I was on the floor. So that is the physical reaction my body has been having, but the emotional and spiritual have been just as weird, yesterday after karate I just felt like I needed to cry, strange I know but I did and it made me feel ok but not better and then this morning I felt like yelling at my roomie for the dumbest things and I know that some pple are gonna say it's just cause I'm menstral but I don't think that's it. Spiritually I have felt fenced in, like I don't have anyway out of the horror that I feel when I feel fenced in, alone. Over all I have been thinking that it was Satan attacking me but when I look at it more closely I know that it's partly him but I think that God also has had a hand in it. Comming into this month I felt uneasy about the fast which has never been the case, I didn't have direct guidence from him till almost the last min. and even then it wasn't really as specific as he usually is. I feel almost sinful eating this soup but I know that my body needs it but I feel as if I almost should have just turned to God a long time ago and asked for help, to overcome all the strangeness. Please Pray.