Reading disclaimer

So I'm writing my thoughts: if you are reading this and do not wish to go inside of my head then don't read it. I can't and won't censor my thoughts for you. So I'm kind of upset now. As I mentioned in my past entry; I was contemplating breaking it off with my boyfriend, and eventually did. It's been rough these past few days for me and I don't want to even imagine what it has been like for him. I don't think it came out of the blue for him but I'm not sure, we got together to talk about the whole thing the day after we broke it off. At least that's what I thought we were getting together to talk about, but it turns out it was mostly (not all but mostly) about trying to talk me out of the decision that I had made. He played every card he had, the 'my friends think it was low too' card, the 'what about the promises we made' and the ultimate one, 'Were you lying when you said you loved me?' I dont' think that his friends know the whole truth so I'm not that upset about that, although I don't like to think that people believe that I'm less of a considerate person than I am. The promises weren't that many and none of them were concrete, we had been together for about 3 months officially and he's only known me for not even a year! so really there weren't that many promises or any real basis to base longlasting promises on. and finally when I said I loved him, that was really for me, that was me saying, 'ok, now I'm in this and I'm gonna give it my all till I can't or do not feel that I should anymore' and that's what happened. I felt he was more of a duty than a joy in my life, I felt that he was a restriction rather than a freedom. So to Dustin, (if you are reading this) I'm sorry, pure and simple, I'm not appologizing for what I did but I'm sorry for the pain and frustration that I caused you and I hope that you can forgive me someday.