My List

I've been thinking a lot lately - since my afternoons are fairly quiet. (ha ha - Nick is screaming that Claire took his train and she's at school) Thinking about what I want out of my life... I've taken some time off, not just off of work (can I say that if I never actually worked?) but off of life. I have not gone out in a Looong time (and never without some guilt for not being home with the kids or my husband), I have not really made many friends to go out with actually, I don't do things that I enjoy very often either because I'm too tired, to frazzled or out of time. SO.
I'm making a list- even if it just helps me find myself and what I want now that my life is so different than the last time I evaluated it (many moons ago). So here are a few ideas of things I would like to do in the near future...
Get my Masters Degree
Take a language class at Community College
Visit Italy
Go to the Dinosaur Park with the Kids
Find more time for my marriage
There are a few others that I'm not ready to put on in ink quite yet but I really think that's a start and I'd like to thank budgetsare$exy for the kick in the pants to make this list... check out some other lists for inspiration over here. (plus they are giving away some $$ to make it all possible)

First Day of School

There are no words.

Claire just asked for her milk in a shot glass.

Heartache

Conversation I had earlier with Claire :

(Claire is hanging off the bed pulling on the comforter)
M: You are going to break my bed and then I'm going to have to break your butt
C: If you break my butt I'll have to break your brain
(Claire thinks about it a second then her expression softens)
C: But not your heart, I'll never break your heart mommy.

Oh that that could be true my love.

My Independant Kid

Claire starts preK next Thursday.

It is crazy to think that just 4 years ago I was terrified about having a baby and couldn't wait for her to grow up and get more independent. Now that she has done just that I'm terrified again but this time I'm nervous for her- how will she adapt to being away from Nick and I for 3 hrs a day?- Will she find a little friend to play with?- Will she listen well to other adults? I know that answer to those questions: She will adapt just fine and is in fact completely ready to have some independence- she is a friendly kid and any kid who doesn't want to be her friend is obviously defective - She is a respectful kid who listens and takes direction well. I love her and feel completely secure and hugely grateful for the time I've spent so far shaping her into a beautiful woman who is respectful, responsible, loving and kind.
So she's ready but I don't think I am.
I see now that a lot of that crazy school shopping is in fact retail therapy for the mothers who are getting ready to experience separation anxiety themselves.
To the backpack store!