So I never understood what that guy ment when he said he 'was lonely even in a room full of people'. But this month, this semester I do. Mandi isn't here but really, there must be more. That can't be the sole reason I feel so meloncaully. There are days when I sit in my room alone, and feeling sad for myself b/c I have noone to hang out with then, someone will call and invite me out and what does sad little me do?... I politely decline and make up an excuse why I can't go. Then I continue to feel sad for my lonely self. How pathetic is that. I rationalize in my head that they dont want to really hang out with me and that I wouldn't have fun or that they wouldn't have fun if I went. Really I know those are all lies. I have wonderful friends who love me and I always have fun with them, even when you would think fun is impossiable.
But what can cause this? this ... I don't wanna call it depression but... this meloncaully feeling? The feeling that none of your friends want to be bothered with you, or the feeling that you are fat and ugly and the feeling that you will be single and strange for the rest of your human life and that you might just might be reencarnated as a toad. This makes me sadder to be writing about my pathetic life. So please don't comment just read and join me in my feeling of being alone even in the sea of friendly faces that surround me.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
random
My life has exploded.. if you could see my bedroom you would understand. it's nice not having a roommate to share all this space with but I love my Mandi and wish she was here to kick my butt into gear (she was always good at that). But she's in Fiji and haveing a grand time, swimming like a fish and fishing with a spear, really all I hear about are fish so... anyway yesterday I was having a crappy busy day and I went to my mailbox and I had a pink slip! (which means there is a package for you!) so I went and picked it up and it was my b-day gift from Mandi! that sly fox had her sister send me a package for my birthday! That's why I love her. God is so GOOD!
Plus my Daddy is comming to see me this next week (well not me specifically but still...)
Maybe this week isn't as crazy as I thought it was .. but .. its almost over.. how time flies
Plus my Daddy is comming to see me this next week (well not me specifically but still...)
Maybe this week isn't as crazy as I thought it was .. but .. its almost over.. how time flies
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Celebrate
So I'm 21 now.. wooooppy-do! (that's real excitement not sarcastic excitement) I didn't do anything exciting this year.. or the year before, or any of my birthday's that I can remember, well there was maybe one. My family sees birthdays as something that is expected, why celebrate? you survived another year. we expected you to do that. I guess it's not until you don't survive another year that you wish you had celebrated all those years before. My family feels the same way about high school graduation and college graduations, I'm not sure yet but I don't think weddings are out of the ordinary either. And for me it double sucks cause I have amazing sisters who are both genuises, and so if anyone gets a celebration it's them and I stand no chance.
I'm really not just depressed or having a bad day it's just the facts of life. For my 21st birthday I had to hound my father to come out to dinner with my sister and I, I received no cards and only one gift (a bunny-bop-n-toss) from Micah, my sister's boyfriend.
I'm also not telling you this so you feel bad for me, like I said this is just the facts of life. I enjoy my family because I know that they have high expectations for me, they push me, in a healthy way. But just sometimes I wish SOMETHING was good enough for a celebration. we are a family full of joy, each of us on our own and when we are together, I guess we celebrate every moment so when one moment has a great life event, our celebration just goes on.
For once I want to feel celebrated.
I'm really not just depressed or having a bad day it's just the facts of life. For my 21st birthday I had to hound my father to come out to dinner with my sister and I, I received no cards and only one gift (a bunny-bop-n-toss) from Micah, my sister's boyfriend.
I'm also not telling you this so you feel bad for me, like I said this is just the facts of life. I enjoy my family because I know that they have high expectations for me, they push me, in a healthy way. But just sometimes I wish SOMETHING was good enough for a celebration. we are a family full of joy, each of us on our own and when we are together, I guess we celebrate every moment so when one moment has a great life event, our celebration just goes on.
For once I want to feel celebrated.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
A Strange Grange
So this week I'm home from school for Spring Break and we are just hanging out (Stasi and Ami and I) becasue Stasi is leaving for Slovakia in the next two weeks. So I came home Fri night and Sat I got up early to sing on the WT and then we went shopping for an outfit for me to wear on my outing that night... we were going square danceing!!! it was sooo much fun! (we didn't dress funny in the end).. it was kinda a blind outing for me because I didn't have a guy to take so I was going with Judah's friend Gerry... That was fun, he was kinda akward (well not him) The situation (well not that either) OK so lets just say it was a little off (I'm not sure how to express how I feel in words sometimes) So we went square dancing..
First we got lost.. so I know a LOT about Gerry cause all we could do was talk, we talked about Broasting (Do you even know what that is?) and I now know what a grange is! So we got there and the square dance, first of all you do dance in a square.. it's crazy, who knew (I never did this in HS gym) Alright so also I learned how to *alaman left* which I can't explain but I can show you if you ask... and well now I can say that I can square dance... (do you think you can put that on your resume?)
First we got lost.. so I know a LOT about Gerry cause all we could do was talk, we talked about Broasting (Do you even know what that is?) and I now know what a grange is! So we got there and the square dance, first of all you do dance in a square.. it's crazy, who knew (I never did this in HS gym) Alright so also I learned how to *alaman left* which I can't explain but I can show you if you ask... and well now I can say that I can square dance... (do you think you can put that on your resume?)
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Life Sucks
Life seems to suck lately... everyone I know has had a crappy week, well they wouldn't say that.. all my friends are terriably upbeat about life but; some of them are expelled, some are suspended, some are severing relationships they have had and treasured for a long time, some are saying a hard goodbye, and still others are just overwhelmed with life in general. I am having a fine week, and I feel bad. I wish I knew how to be there for each one..
**Ami needs Mango snapple if anyone is in PA**
**Lauren could use a hug if you're in the neighborhood**
**Stasi could use a personal assistant if anyone is looking for something to do**
**I could use a term paper or two**
**Everyone could use a couple more hours in their day**
It's hard for me to see friends in need and not be able to help. I can buy presents, I can give hugs, I can be the sholder to cry on, I can even be the one to tuck them in at night after a long day but all of that just seems so empty, like I'm only scratching the surface of the problem.. I wish I could just get rid of it, but I can't. Life sucks that way.
**Ami needs Mango snapple if anyone is in PA**
**Lauren could use a hug if you're in the neighborhood**
**Stasi could use a personal assistant if anyone is looking for something to do**
**I could use a term paper or two**
**Everyone could use a couple more hours in their day**
It's hard for me to see friends in need and not be able to help. I can buy presents, I can give hugs, I can be the sholder to cry on, I can even be the one to tuck them in at night after a long day but all of that just seems so empty, like I'm only scratching the surface of the problem.. I wish I could just get rid of it, but I can't. Life sucks that way.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The most interesting thing
So I thought to myself, 'I should update this so if on the off chance that someone will come accross my little parcel of cyber space they will have something to read, and won't think that this is an abandoned site.' But then the delema came to me that nothing interesting has happened in the past month or so for me to write about.. I could write about Justin and how he's on strike three with Nyack and still swinging strong, or how Rachel needs prayer cause everyone is dying in her family in the past month. I could even write about my sister who is mad at me for telling her to marry the man of her dreams, or how I am ready to punch my boss in the face and walk out of the job. But none of that really strikes me as interesting... but then I did some reading for my Multicultural Classroom class and BAM there it was.. the topic for this blog...
**side note**
that's how sad my life is, the most interesting thing I have to write about came from a reading for one of my classes.. how pathetic am I
**back to the most interesting thing ever**
We are talking about being white.. something that I can identify with. They are talking about how whites have privilages that they don't even think about and as I read this list I realized that this is so true.. I take all of these things for granted.. so read them and if you are white.. which do you think is the most interesting one to think about. .and if you are not white.. just read them..some apply to you.. some don't but really I think everyone can learn from this list....:
1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.
2. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchassing houseing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.
3. I can be pretty sure that my neighborhood on such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me
4. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed
5. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented
6. When I am told about our national heritage or about 'civilizaton' I am shown that pople of my color made it what it is
7. I can be sure the my children will be given curricular materials tha testify to the existance of thier race.
8. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this peice on white privilage.
9. I can go inot a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into the hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.
10. Whether I use cheeks, credit cards, or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability
11. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them
12. I can swear or dress in second hand clothing or not answer letters without having people attribute these choices t the bad morals, the poverty, or the illiteracy of my race.
13. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial
14. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.
15. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group
16. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion
17. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.
18. I can be pretty sure the if I ask to talk to 'the person in charge' I will be facing a person of my race.
19. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.
20. I can easily buy posters, postcars, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featureig people of my own race.
21. I can go home form most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, out numbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared
22. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having coworkers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.
23. I can choose public accomidation witout fearing that people of my race can not get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chossen.
24. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my race will not work against me
25. If my day, week, or year have gone badly I need not ask of each episode or situation whether it has racial overtones.
26. I can choose blemish-cover or bandages in 'fleshl color and have them more or less match my skin.
List taken from:
McIntosh, P. (n.d.). White privilege: unpacking the incisible knapsack. Fondations for living, 128-132.
**side note**
that's how sad my life is, the most interesting thing I have to write about came from a reading for one of my classes.. how pathetic am I
**back to the most interesting thing ever**
We are talking about being white.. something that I can identify with. They are talking about how whites have privilages that they don't even think about and as I read this list I realized that this is so true.. I take all of these things for granted.. so read them and if you are white.. which do you think is the most interesting one to think about. .and if you are not white.. just read them..some apply to you.. some don't but really I think everyone can learn from this list....:
1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.
2. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchassing houseing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.
3. I can be pretty sure that my neighborhood on such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me
4. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed
5. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented
6. When I am told about our national heritage or about 'civilizaton' I am shown that pople of my color made it what it is
7. I can be sure the my children will be given curricular materials tha testify to the existance of thier race.
8. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this peice on white privilage.
9. I can go inot a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into the hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.
10. Whether I use cheeks, credit cards, or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability
11. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them
12. I can swear or dress in second hand clothing or not answer letters without having people attribute these choices t the bad morals, the poverty, or the illiteracy of my race.
13. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial
14. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.
15. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group
16. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion
17. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.
18. I can be pretty sure the if I ask to talk to 'the person in charge' I will be facing a person of my race.
19. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.
20. I can easily buy posters, postcars, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featureig people of my own race.
21. I can go home form most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, out numbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared
22. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having coworkers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.
23. I can choose public accomidation witout fearing that people of my race can not get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chossen.
24. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my race will not work against me
25. If my day, week, or year have gone badly I need not ask of each episode or situation whether it has racial overtones.
26. I can choose blemish-cover or bandages in 'fleshl color and have them more or less match my skin.
List taken from:
McIntosh, P. (n.d.). White privilege: unpacking the incisible knapsack. Fondations for living, 128-132.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
My 'Best Friend'
So have you ever had that one friend who is always going to be your friend, no matter where you are or what you do? Well Meg is that to me and I was thinking of her today and decieded to write a bit of a tribute to her.. I guess you could call it that. I just wanted to encourage you all to tell your 'best friend' just what makes them your 'best friend'. when you were young you prolly had about 5 'best friends' then college hit and your had maybe 3 'best friends', now where do you find yourself, with more or less 2 or not even? Hold on to those who you have. call them, appriciate them, spend time growing closer to them (if that's possiable). But most of all just be that friend to someone else. The world will be a better place.
**
I must stop before I am compelled to enter the Miss America pagent and wish for 'world peace' in front of the entire nation.
**
suffice to say, thanks Meg for all the prayers and tears and crap that you've put up with, I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you!
Sunday, January 29, 2006
School is Taking Over My Brain
School is taking over my brain.. today I was sitting in church and I was listening and all of the sudden I was thinking.. "ya know, faith is very context reduced" whoa, now I'm using educational jargon in my everyday life, this is crazy.. I guess that is a good thing, not like dreaming of work... (which means you should quit the job by the way) So for those of you who aren't TESOL majors or in the education field or just know these random things, context reduced means that you dont have anything tangable or visiable to tie your actions to or to help you to understand something.. for example, talking on the telephone is a context reduced activity, you can not see the person on the other end of the phone to interpret thier facial expressions or body language. School is taking over my brain.. now I must go prep a lesson for my methods, my work is never done.
I'm Sorry... sort of
I am sorry to those of you who were offended by my last post about the 'holding year' after college. I did not mean to offend anyone... I can only say that I am sorry ... sort of because I did mean what I wrote.. not that those people who take a year off after college are failures or somehow stupid or unworthy of life but I ment that it wasn't for me, that I didn't want to have to wait to get into life.. so to those of you who misunderstood what I wrote, I'm sorry.. sort of.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Tid-bits
The Missing Bottle
Mandi Bottle missed dearly by her friends, is in Fiji this semester. Communication to her grass hut is limited to written letters dropped by air mail. If you would like to write to Mandi, please give your letters to me at any time. A mailing goes out every Monday. Please do not send lumpy things or packages as they will not get to her. If you would like to send some contraban you may send one stick of gum in your letter because that will not be detected.
Mid-College Crisis
I'm halfway through, three semesters left and really only two cause of student teaching. I have no clue what I want to do with my life, I am at a crisis moment and struggling to find my place in this crazy world, well not my place right now, but the place that I will occupy once I'm out of here. I look at some of my friends and family that have gone through the college thing and I don't want to end up like some of them did. Just living in a holding pattern for a year after college. I want to get out and start doing what I'm going to do for the rest of my life... or the rest of that period in my life. I know that I should be trusting God to provide for my future but, that's really hard. toss up a prayer for me if you would and let Him know that I'm waiting on his answer and if He could please hurry it up, I'd appriciate that.
Homesick
I am more homesick now than I have ever been. I remember thinking Freshman year about how I really just wanted to get out. That I was done with the 'home' part of my life, and wanted to go and see that world and live on my own and make my own mistakes. But now that I've lived on my own, outside the 'home' and made plenty of mistakes, I miss home. While it's most of the time crazy busy with everyone going different directions at different times with different people, it's still home. I don't know what brought this all on, last week I talked to someone at home everyday! Will this pass? Have you ever heard of such a thing? Have you yourself ever felt this way? if so call 1800-Abigail for tickets to a free showing of this talk show. ... (don't ask)
Mandi Bottle missed dearly by her friends, is in Fiji this semester. Communication to her grass hut is limited to written letters dropped by air mail. If you would like to write to Mandi, please give your letters to me at any time. A mailing goes out every Monday. Please do not send lumpy things or packages as they will not get to her. If you would like to send some contraban you may send one stick of gum in your letter because that will not be detected.
Mid-College Crisis
I'm halfway through, three semesters left and really only two cause of student teaching. I have no clue what I want to do with my life, I am at a crisis moment and struggling to find my place in this crazy world, well not my place right now, but the place that I will occupy once I'm out of here. I look at some of my friends and family that have gone through the college thing and I don't want to end up like some of them did. Just living in a holding pattern for a year after college. I want to get out and start doing what I'm going to do for the rest of my life... or the rest of that period in my life. I know that I should be trusting God to provide for my future but, that's really hard. toss up a prayer for me if you would and let Him know that I'm waiting on his answer and if He could please hurry it up, I'd appriciate that.
Homesick
I am more homesick now than I have ever been. I remember thinking Freshman year about how I really just wanted to get out. That I was done with the 'home' part of my life, and wanted to go and see that world and live on my own and make my own mistakes. But now that I've lived on my own, outside the 'home' and made plenty of mistakes, I miss home. While it's most of the time crazy busy with everyone going different directions at different times with different people, it's still home. I don't know what brought this all on, last week I talked to someone at home everyday! Will this pass? Have you ever heard of such a thing? Have you yourself ever felt this way? if so call 1800-Abigail for tickets to a free showing of this talk show. ... (don't ask)
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I Love It!
You know those songs that affect you sooo much when they come on.. you know the ones that make you dance like an impossiable white child and sing at the top of your lungs. The one you can't sit still through and must turn the volume up the ENTIRE way till your neighbors knock on your door and yell... or dance with you.. I love songs like that! there should be more in this world, then everyone would be 'dancing' and singing and driving with the windows down, and less people would get shot.. I'm a firm believer that music is the answer.. at least for me. what it your song?
Friday, January 20, 2006
Beni-friends
I'm feeling better now.. thank you for all the prayers!
I was thinking tonight, after the girls left, about benifriends... how many girl and guys have them in this world? a TON I'm not one for that right now.. before yes but right now not so much. But I was just thinking about the concept and about what my friend said.. She said that when she and this guy were making out without an attachment, she missed her ex more and felt more empty after an encounter with her benifriend than she did before the time spent in total 'make-me-feel-good" bliss. So, what's the point? really?
I was thinking tonight, after the girls left, about benifriends... how many girl and guys have them in this world? a TON I'm not one for that right now.. before yes but right now not so much. But I was just thinking about the concept and about what my friend said.. She said that when she and this guy were making out without an attachment, she missed her ex more and felt more empty after an encounter with her benifriend than she did before the time spent in total 'make-me-feel-good" bliss. So, what's the point? really?
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I went to the nurse! and she speaks English!
So yesterday my mom almost talked me into going to the ER for my 'illness'; she did really well, I actually drove the entire way there and then chickened out and never went in... I figured my 'illness' wasn't an emergency and could wait until tomorrow to see the nurse. Our nurse here at Nyack isn't really a nurse, just a nurses assistant. and she doesn't really have the best English. So I went anyway.. when I got to the office door I was met with the sight of what appeared to me to be a fort... a whole bunch of boxes stacked up on top of oneanother to form a wall around the door. So I got through the little opening and realized why the 'fort' was built. The nurses office is flooded! and since they weren't open yesterday for MLK day the room smelled of mildew! gross... now i can add nauseous to my symptom list. So we 'talked' I understood about 48% of what she said.. (which is good). So she was going to refer me to a clinic so I could see a doctor. So she takes my blood pressure, which is low as always, health professionals never believe you about that sort of thing, it's like if you went to the mechanic and they asked you if your car is red and then had to go and look to make sure you know what red is.... (bad example I know but I'm on these great meds that make it ALL ok!) So then she took my temp. which I thought would be fine, but I guess I was working from comparison and i did have a fever, mild but there, of 100 degrees. So I went to the clinic.. my first time, kinda made me feel, I don't know how it made me feel, just strange.... and the nice doctor just gave me my perscription in samples from these kitchen cabnets they had in the back... don't worry I checked them out and they are what they say they are and they do what they say they do. So now I'm on the mend finally I hope... I should be better in a week or so... well off to try to eat something for the day.. I'm so sick of soup!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Is it cold in here?
So here's a quick update on my life so if fancy pants or my dad are reading they can be updated on what it going on...
**PS**
Fancy pants.. sorry I called you a girl, I guess I was mistaken...it was nice to meet you
**back**
So I am at school now.. working my tail end off.. I left at 4am to drive back here on Mon, that was nice, no traffic and I didn't feel like I had been traveling all day.. it took me about 61/2 hours to get here (it usually takes 7 or 8). Classes started yesterday, I am the only student in one of my classes, that's strange. and I found out that I'm going to be the only student in one of my other classes as well. Sooo.. I'm just getting TONS of one on one time with my profs. (yeah and all amounts of joy)
I am working at the Picture People still, about 28-30 hrs a week this semester. I also am working at this after school program JCCY (don't ask me what it stands for, one of the J's stands for Jewish I know that but that's where my knowledge stops) I love both jobs and suprisingly they don't take up all my time this semester... I have a GREAT schedule! I am also teaching again in Tappan my students are sooo sweet.. we moved class to Thurs. nights though so now I'm busy from 6:30-about 9pm on Thurs.
I am not dating anyone right now, I have a couple friends that give me my guy fix when I need some testasterone (totally spelled wrong). It's nice to have them around.
UMMMM... dad I think there was something else, another topic I was sopposed to update you on.. but I can't remember.. I'm on these great drugs for this sickness I have (please pray)
**PS**
Fancy pants.. sorry I called you a girl, I guess I was mistaken...it was nice to meet you
**back**
So I am at school now.. working my tail end off.. I left at 4am to drive back here on Mon, that was nice, no traffic and I didn't feel like I had been traveling all day.. it took me about 61/2 hours to get here (it usually takes 7 or 8). Classes started yesterday, I am the only student in one of my classes, that's strange. and I found out that I'm going to be the only student in one of my other classes as well. Sooo.. I'm just getting TONS of one on one time with my profs. (yeah and all amounts of joy)
I am working at the Picture People still, about 28-30 hrs a week this semester. I also am working at this after school program JCCY (don't ask me what it stands for, one of the J's stands for Jewish I know that but that's where my knowledge stops) I love both jobs and suprisingly they don't take up all my time this semester... I have a GREAT schedule! I am also teaching again in Tappan my students are sooo sweet.. we moved class to Thurs. nights though so now I'm busy from 6:30-about 9pm on Thurs.
I am not dating anyone right now, I have a couple friends that give me my guy fix when I need some testasterone (totally spelled wrong). It's nice to have them around.
UMMMM... dad I think there was something else, another topic I was sopposed to update you on.. but I can't remember.. I'm on these great drugs for this sickness I have (please pray)
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Things I Already Know
So I am updateing for the sake of killing some time. I have given up on the thought that anyone actually reads this.
Christmas..
for Christmas I got my digital camara, as soon as I figure how to get the pictures off the card and onto the computer and then onto the internet you will be able to see illustrations for this lovely blog!
The Day After...
For the day after Christmas we went to my gram Havener's to celebrate Christmas with that side of the family. In true Havener style we ate at Ponderosa. We are a party of 27 and we fit in the tinyest room ever we had to bring in chairs and roll our own silverware, it was an experiance. Then we went back to my Aunt Cindy's for presents and deserts. (I don't know why we don't just have deserts, then the whole thing would take less time) The presents are also kinda a practice in futility, No one gets anything they like, next year we should just exchange 5 dollars and have it over with. Really it was fun though, they are getting more normal as time goes on, there were only a few mishaps.
The Week After...
My Gram and Pap celebrated 50 years of blissful marriage on the 30th. We threw them a suprise party at the Cottage. We didn't know if we would be able to get them there because we couldn't tell them and they weren't making things easy. We told soo many lies, that my aunt from CA wasn't coming and then that my Aunt Danielle's family was haveing a party at the Cottage and they had to come (they declined that invite) and then that my aunt from CA was in and would she please get her butt to dinner with their family.. So they got there.
The Next Day..
At the suprise party we suprised my gram and pap by telling them that we were all coming to thier house the next day for my Lane family christmas. The lane family christmas is pretty good. The food is good. We get closepin cookies, and bean caserole, plus the people can be more normal (at times.) This year my Uncle Ronnie made swords for all the little kids, that was a stroke of genius. He also brought Fancy Pants (who is black and also who he believes to be a boy) (the black is right, the boy is not).
My sisters and I decided that we should at least get something out of this whole thing, we do both families each year. So we are going to publish the oddity of our families. It will be a reverse book, (one that you flip over and read something totally diff, kinda like the direction books that come in English and Chineese) The Havener document will be titiled, "WE'RE DRIVING REALLY SLOW" which comes from my father saying that to us when we got lost. (driving slow would not help, we were going in the opposite direction and were in the SalVal parking lot). The Lane Family's title is "WOULD ANYONE LIKE WATERMELLON:so would I" Which is my Pap's favorite thing to say when there is no watermellon but he offers anyway and puts you in the mood for it.
I really need to post more often so my posts aren't this long... oh well, like I said no one reads this.
Christmas..
for Christmas I got my digital camara, as soon as I figure how to get the pictures off the card and onto the computer and then onto the internet you will be able to see illustrations for this lovely blog!
The Day After...
For the day after Christmas we went to my gram Havener's to celebrate Christmas with that side of the family. In true Havener style we ate at Ponderosa. We are a party of 27 and we fit in the tinyest room ever we had to bring in chairs and roll our own silverware, it was an experiance. Then we went back to my Aunt Cindy's for presents and deserts. (I don't know why we don't just have deserts, then the whole thing would take less time) The presents are also kinda a practice in futility, No one gets anything they like, next year we should just exchange 5 dollars and have it over with. Really it was fun though, they are getting more normal as time goes on, there were only a few mishaps.
The Week After...
My Gram and Pap celebrated 50 years of blissful marriage on the 30th. We threw them a suprise party at the Cottage. We didn't know if we would be able to get them there because we couldn't tell them and they weren't making things easy. We told soo many lies, that my aunt from CA wasn't coming and then that my Aunt Danielle's family was haveing a party at the Cottage and they had to come (they declined that invite) and then that my aunt from CA was in and would she please get her butt to dinner with their family.. So they got there.
The Next Day..
At the suprise party we suprised my gram and pap by telling them that we were all coming to thier house the next day for my Lane family christmas. The lane family christmas is pretty good. The food is good. We get closepin cookies, and bean caserole, plus the people can be more normal (at times.) This year my Uncle Ronnie made swords for all the little kids, that was a stroke of genius. He also brought Fancy Pants (who is black and also who he believes to be a boy) (the black is right, the boy is not).
My sisters and I decided that we should at least get something out of this whole thing, we do both families each year. So we are going to publish the oddity of our families. It will be a reverse book, (one that you flip over and read something totally diff, kinda like the direction books that come in English and Chineese) The Havener document will be titiled, "WE'RE DRIVING REALLY SLOW" which comes from my father saying that to us when we got lost. (driving slow would not help, we were going in the opposite direction and were in the SalVal parking lot). The Lane Family's title is "WOULD ANYONE LIKE WATERMELLON:so would I" Which is my Pap's favorite thing to say when there is no watermellon but he offers anyway and puts you in the mood for it.
I really need to post more often so my posts aren't this long... oh well, like I said no one reads this.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
I hate the MTA
So yesterday I was sopposed to go to see Chitti-Chitty-Bang-Bang with my buddy Dustin. But... I'll tell you the end, We never saw the musical, we drove to the city and never got out of the car, in fact we didn't do anything that we planned to do. So why may you ask did this all happen, and why do I hate the MTA in New York? well let me enlighten you. (I'm not bitter... you should just know that coming into this) :P so... the MTA is on strike, because of some benifits of somthing stupid like that, basically from what I gather, they are getting benifits that were needed 40 yrs ago but are irrelevent now and so the Gov. is cutting them out of the new workers pkgs. So they are on strike. now about the musical (The MTA will tie in here in a bit) so we left a little later than we had planned because we decieded to do lunch at his place instead of in the city... hey we are both poor, and the food was prolly better. So we left with about 2 hrs to play with, and those two hours didn't include the 45 min that we planned on being in the theater before the musical started. So really we had 2 hrs and 45 min to drive into Manhattan on a Tues night and park and walk the 4 city blocks to the theater. Not a problem. Except for the MTA strike. See when they went on strike they stopped everything that runs into the city, buses, trains, and even some roads. So basically to get in you have to drive, traffic was heavier than a reg. tues night but not bad... we got in in about 45 min. So then we were trying to find this parking garage, because again we are poor and can't afford to park in downtown Manhattan without a cupon (which we had for this particular garage)
*Sillyness engulfs me*
I'm at Dustin's right now and Pablo (his roomie) is singing at the top of his lungs, I don't think he knows I am here... he's not bad but really funny (especially when he wails to the music)
*back to the rant*
So the garage is on 5th and 43rd, we got there and they have closed down 5th ave!! who does that!! (because they were picketing in Grand Central) so finally we talked to this one nice cop and he let us "illegally" go down 5th to get to where we needed to go... this is now about 30 min before the show is sopposed to start... we were both frustrated from driving around for about an hour and a half. .. so we get to the garage that we think it is.. and its the wrong one, the one we wanted was a little up 5th the other direction... so we finaly just left the city.. :( but don't worry our night was not totally ruined until he told me that his disorganized facade was just that and that he really had reservations at some really nice resturant for after the show and that we were going to see the tree and all this stuff... and I was soo upset.. so we went to the mall for dinner and go cheesecake from the cheesecake factory and a musical on DVD (My Fair Lady) and we went back to his place and just chilled.. basically it was a good night.. I mean it wasn't anything that we expected it to be. but... it's all relative... I did get to see a heck of a lot of the city when we were driving around and I got to see a musical, even if is was just on his screen while I sat on the couch. but really I cant complain.. a great time was had by all..... I hate the MTA... if you work for them, you ruined my wonderful evening and the best christmas present I would have gotten this year... so there!!!
*Sillyness engulfs me*
I'm at Dustin's right now and Pablo (his roomie) is singing at the top of his lungs, I don't think he knows I am here... he's not bad but really funny (especially when he wails to the music)
*back to the rant*
So the garage is on 5th and 43rd, we got there and they have closed down 5th ave!! who does that!! (because they were picketing in Grand Central) so finally we talked to this one nice cop and he let us "illegally" go down 5th to get to where we needed to go... this is now about 30 min before the show is sopposed to start... we were both frustrated from driving around for about an hour and a half. .. so we get to the garage that we think it is.. and its the wrong one, the one we wanted was a little up 5th the other direction... so we finaly just left the city.. :( but don't worry our night was not totally ruined until he told me that his disorganized facade was just that and that he really had reservations at some really nice resturant for after the show and that we were going to see the tree and all this stuff... and I was soo upset.. so we went to the mall for dinner and go cheesecake from the cheesecake factory and a musical on DVD (My Fair Lady) and we went back to his place and just chilled.. basically it was a good night.. I mean it wasn't anything that we expected it to be. but... it's all relative... I did get to see a heck of a lot of the city when we were driving around and I got to see a musical, even if is was just on his screen while I sat on the couch. but really I cant complain.. a great time was had by all..... I hate the MTA... if you work for them, you ruined my wonderful evening and the best christmas present I would have gotten this year... so there!!!
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Just an update
Procrastination to Hit All Time High
With finals around the corner and upon me, I can use all the prayer that you can give. My toughest final is tonight at 6pm, it's my Methods final so wish me luck and toss up a prayer.. other than that, finals are going swimmingly.
Hispanic Community Outraged
For my Spanish final today I had to know the parts of a car. I am a firm believer that if I am in a foreign country AND if I have a car AND if that car breaks and needs fixed; I am not below pointing and making noises to get my point accross. I am a believer that not even most hispanic women know some of these car parts.. I don't know most of them in English.. It's an outrage.
Country Girl to Return to Mars
Not by space travel but I will be going home in about a week and a half. (I will get home on the 22nd late). I can't wait to get home and see everyone, whom I miss (a little).
Postal Service on Strike
I hope they are and that explains the disappearance of my homemade study pack (including two randomly added, non packaged tea bags) It's no where to be found and Roberto can't find it or make it appear although he is amazing!
With finals around the corner and upon me, I can use all the prayer that you can give. My toughest final is tonight at 6pm, it's my Methods final so wish me luck and toss up a prayer.. other than that, finals are going swimmingly.
Hispanic Community Outraged
For my Spanish final today I had to know the parts of a car. I am a firm believer that if I am in a foreign country AND if I have a car AND if that car breaks and needs fixed; I am not below pointing and making noises to get my point accross. I am a believer that not even most hispanic women know some of these car parts.. I don't know most of them in English.. It's an outrage.
Country Girl to Return to Mars
Not by space travel but I will be going home in about a week and a half. (I will get home on the 22nd late). I can't wait to get home and see everyone, whom I miss (a little).
Postal Service on Strike
I hope they are and that explains the disappearance of my homemade study pack (including two randomly added, non packaged tea bags) It's no where to be found and Roberto can't find it or make it appear although he is amazing!
Amazing Grace
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see.
T'was Grace that taught...my heart to fear.And Grace, my fears relieved.How precious did that Grace appear...the hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares...we have already come.T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...and Grace will lead us home.
The Lord has promised good to me...His word my hope secures.He will my shield and portion be...as long as life endures.
When we've been here ten thousand years...bright shining as the sun.We've no less days to sing God's praise...then when we've first begun.
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see.
Amazing Grace
I was sitting in Chapel on Mon. and I had a 'moment' an ephany if you may. So I thought I'd share it here:
You can't fully understand the impact of that line in 'Amazing Grace' untill you have felt the fear that the grace of your salvation can bring upon your heart. But being a believer I know that the grace of my salvation can releive that fear- fear of what I'm not sure maybe it's fear of being discovered in your sins, maybe a fear of seperation form Christ. Whatever that fear is it is real and it is strong and it is lousy
Your grace is amazing! amazing that you would still love see me, a sinner. That you would still love me, even though I am a sinner. God-it is unthinkable that you would forgive me of the unforgivable- you deserve all the glory and honor that a sinner such as I can give. God pleas remember me ... as the sinner on the cross pled with you.. remember me in the face of your Father. Remember me and don't let me stray too far from your throne. Father bring me back... love on me. mend me as only you can.
You can't fully understand the impact of that line in 'Amazing Grace' untill you have felt the fear that the grace of your salvation can bring upon your heart. But being a believer I know that the grace of my salvation can releive that fear- fear of what I'm not sure maybe it's fear of being discovered in your sins, maybe a fear of seperation form Christ. Whatever that fear is it is real and it is strong and it is lousy
Your grace is amazing! amazing that you would still love see me, a sinner. That you would still love me, even though I am a sinner. God-it is unthinkable that you would forgive me of the unforgivable- you deserve all the glory and honor that a sinner such as I can give. God pleas remember me ... as the sinner on the cross pled with you.. remember me in the face of your Father. Remember me and don't let me stray too far from your throne. Father bring me back... love on me. mend me as only you can.
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