Just an update

Procrastination to Hit All Time High
With finals around the corner and upon me, I can use all the prayer that you can give. My toughest final is tonight at 6pm, it's my Methods final so wish me luck and toss up a prayer.. other than that, finals are going swimmingly.

Hispanic Community Outraged
For my Spanish final today I had to know the parts of a car. I am a firm believer that if I am in a foreign country AND if I have a car AND if that car breaks and needs fixed; I am not below pointing and making noises to get my point accross. I am a believer that not even most hispanic women know some of these car parts.. I don't know most of them in English.. It's an outrage.

Country Girl to Return to Mars
Not by space travel but I will be going home in about a week and a half. (I will get home on the 22nd late). I can't wait to get home and see everyone, whom I miss (a little).

Postal Service on Strike
I hope they are and that explains the disappearance of my homemade study pack (including two randomly added, non packaged tea bags) It's no where to be found and Roberto can't find it or make it appear although he is amazing!

Amazing Grace

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...my heart to fear.And Grace, my fears relieved.How precious did that Grace appear...the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...we have already come.T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...His word my hope secures.He will my shield and portion be...as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...bright shining as the sun.We've no less days to sing God's praise...then when we've first begun.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me....I once was lost but now am found,Was blind, but now, I see.

Amazing Grace

I was sitting in Chapel on Mon. and I had a 'moment' an ephany if you may. So I thought I'd share it here:
You can't fully understand the impact of that line in 'Amazing Grace' untill you have felt the fear that the grace of your salvation can bring upon your heart. But being a believer I know that the grace of my salvation can releive that fear- fear of what I'm not sure maybe it's fear of being discovered in your sins, maybe a fear of seperation form Christ. Whatever that fear is it is real and it is strong and it is lousy
Your grace is amazing! amazing that you would still love see me, a sinner. That you would still love me, even though I am a sinner. God-it is unthinkable that you would forgive me of the unforgivable- you deserve all the glory and honor that a sinner such as I can give. God pleas remember me ... as the sinner on the cross pled with you.. remember me in the face of your Father. Remember me and don't let me stray too far from your throne. Father bring me back... love on me. mend me as only you can.

Just don't ask

Just thought I should make it public knowledge that Jimmy and I are no longer seeing eachother or even talking, per his request. SO incase you see me and want to ask about how he's doing or anything like that ... don't, cause I don't know, I don't have his phone number, I don't know his email (that's a lie) I don't talk to him, his sister, his mother, his grandmother or Joe for that matter. So don't ask, and if you want to, don't. and don't start your sentence like "I know you two broke up but..." or "I know you prolly don't know, but how it Jimmy doing?" you would be right with the last one, I wouldn't know. So don't ask, and if you meet someone who should know this, pass it along, in fact pass it along to everyone you know, cause I don't know how Jimmy is doing and I'm sick of having to tell people that. Just don't ask.

Just cause I should

This post is just cause I should
-just cause I should be studying
-just cause I should write in this blog every once in a while
-just cause I should be studying (did I mention that already I really should be)
-just cause I should write in here so my mom can know what's going on with me
-just cause I should no be eating junk food while I am doing this
-just cause I should be going to the gym tomorrow
-just cause I should be packing my stuff to move out
-just cause I should be thinking about how my GPA is going to drop due to this semester
-just cause I should be wondering how I am going to go 2 more weeks without seeing my Alex
-just cause I should be studying (did I mention that already?)
This is a post just cause I should post and get back to life as I know it, just cause I should

Make New Friends But Keep the Old

I just got the sweetest letter from a dear friend, well I don't know if I could call her a friend. She was by 6th and 7th grade English teacher.
I was thinking about her the other day and how much she had impacted me. How I wouldn't be studying what I am here at Nyack if it weren't for her. So I dropped her a line, nothing fancy just a quick update on where I was and what I was studying and a thank you for her dedication to the profession. So I sent it and didn't think another thing about it till today when I went to my mailbox and there was a LETTER!! (hint: by the excitement I get over letters you can see that I love getting them and I don't get them often, Drop me a line whenever!) The letter was from Mrs. Pringle! She was so grateful for the letter, that she wrote one of her own, although it was nothing spectacular, it was mail and the gesture was much appriciated! She is so sweet. Yeah for old friends from forgotten places... I miss you Forest Hills!

I Passed

I PASSED!! 256 on my ATSW!! I can still be a teacher in New York if I want to be!

The eX factor

I love ex-boyfriends. Today seems to be the day for them. I was thinking about Jimmy the other day and just wondering what he was up to and all that jazz... not pineing over him or wondering because there are any strong feelings there.. (There aren't) But just cause he's my friend and I haven't talked to him in a long time. So I was thinking about IMing him so that if he wanted to continue not talking, he could just ignore it. But if, on an off chance, he decieded that he wanted to talk, he could respond. So I got online this morning and he was away.. so I sat there checking every so often (more often than I'll admit) to see if he was back. Then I finally gave up and started picking up my room (which is a disaster!) and I heard the little noise that says someone loves me and is talking to me.. and guess who it was... Jimmy... really strange huh.. well then we talked and it wasn't like the other times we talked, he wasn't pushing an agenda, he wasn't trying to 'win me back'. It was just two friends catching up on what they had missed in the last month and a half.
**SIDE NOTE**
I realized how boring of a life I lead.. first of all I haven't had anything new to write in here in a loong time. I keep thinking, 'I should update that but I dont have anything to write.' I didn't have anything new to tell Jimmy when he asked what I had been up to.. how lame is my life
**Coming back to me**
So Jimmy and I talked, then tonight I was playing scrabble with Dustin, and his brother Jeremy and Mandi. It was fun, Mandi was really tired and Jeremy was a little on the way to being drunk but other than that, scrabble was fun. So the was ex number 2 and now I'm talking to Jason. ex number 3, and really I dont know if I can count him as an ex. we were so young.. and stupid. So anyway.. it just seems like I am destined to keep in touch with the guys I date. I dont't have a problem with that, but mostly they do.. at first then they realize that we had a great friendship and that it's worth it to try to keep that going..
so there you have it.. don't jump down my throat for talking to Jimmy, I know you want to but.. well it's my life and really I'm glad to be back in contact with him. he's a great friend.

Mandi's 21st Birthday

Most people spend their 21st at a bar or at least out having fun. Well mandi and I decided that since we didn't get to go thrift shopping together before, we would go on her birthday (Wed.) sound like fun huh? So we set out with our (what we thought then) good directions and our full tank of gas. We were going to two different thrift shops. One in Pearl River and one in White Plains... a little far we knew but for a 21st anything right? Well we got lost when our directions turned out to be wrong (but only at the last part), so we got directions from this church and when we got there it was kinda a bust except that we got these really cool classics. They had a GREAT book selection (we'll have to go when you come up sisters)! So then we were going to go to the one in White Plains. And again our directions weren't the best (but only at the end) and so we were lost and Mandi got out to ask directions and we found out that North Broadway was the other way so we turned around ( with some difficulty). And then we were looking for 39 N. Broadway and we saw signs for 12 N. Broadway and then 13 N. Broadway and so on till about 20 N. Broadway then the next one was 44 N. Broadway, don't ask me how but it was. So finally after asking directions from a very unhelpful traffic cop we found the place and Mandi couldn't find her wallet it must have fallen out when we stopped to ask directions so we went back and it was there, with all her money only her Subway card was missing (not really but we thought it would have been funny) So we go back to the Thrift Store and we find out that its only open on Tues from 10-4! AGHHH .. so we get back in the car and try to go home, after some more bad direction (these coming from the Birthday Girl) we were on our way home... laughing all the way.. Mandi and I are adventured out for now I think, but tomorrow is a new weekend, we were thinking maybe this time we'll tackle the city! it could be fun :)

The Events That Followed

So as afore mentioned I went to my roommates house this weekend for "Fall Break". We did a TON of stuff, like 'doing wood'. It rained a lot so we didn't do much wood but I got to fill the cart once and help unload it into the basement, it was an experiance to say the least and I decieded I will never heat my house with wood. We also played this game, Pit. It was totally fun and loud and I decieded I am going to have to get it so we can play sometime up here at school. it wasn't quite as loud untill Kelly came home and Kyle stopped by... they add to the fun! We also played scrabble with TJ and Megan. it was possiably the best game of scrabble that I have ever played (not that I play often) even though we own the game now. Megan's famous word that is still stuck in my head. IDODOLO- the cousin to the DODO bird. (no we didn't let her play it) We also ate dougnuts off a sting, there are pictures which you will never see cause I look totally stupid! Then on the way home we had sooo much fun. Well at first it wasn't. The plan was to go to a thrift shop on the way home so we left in plenty of time and got there but as we are walking toward the store Mandi realizes she still has her dad's keys in her pocket and we scrapped that and had to go home to take the keys back. So we decided with the little time we had extra we would stop at any random point on the road trip to take a crazy picture. (if my web-master would show me how to publish pic you could see them *Stasi*) We took ones with pigs and a campaign sign that says I LIKE MIKE FLANAGAN! (if you live in Greene vote for Mike for me, I love his signs!) and we took ones next to a rhinosarus and did I mention the real live pigs and the bicikle tied to a sign and Mandi climbing the tree in her bare feet (or trying to at least).. we had so much fun.. I'm sure I am forgetting something but such is life... and now I must return to it so I can study for this exam in Spanish! YEAH!

The Starting Line-up

This past weekend was our fall break, if you can call it that. (we had Mon off until 6pm! o goody) So I went upstate to Mandi's. She lives in the middle of nowhere and they have a barn and a pond and they tap trees to make syrup and they heat their house with wood, that they chop and store themselves! they are really amazing people to me. I got to see her dad again, he is wonderful! like a little Larry Poston. and Emily, her sister who is such a doll, we stayed in her room even though she was sick... she's such a doll (agian) And I got to meet a whole slew of people from her other family. TJ her brother who is getting married and good thing otherwise I would try to steal him (still might) Really I'm just kidding cause I got to meet his fiance and she is soooo sweet and soooo pretty and has such a gentle spirit. they are so cute together! I hope I am that cute with my fiance when I get afianced! I went with Megan (TJ's fiance) to get her dress fitted and that was fun, it is gorgeous and Mandi and Emily got their bridesmaids dresses which looked wonderful on them. Also this past weekend I got to meed Mandi's step-mom, Donna, she's such a homemaker and loves haveing company which is evident by her hospitality toward me. She recently broke her ankle by falling down some stairs at work, so she was just getting up and about. I also got to meet Kelly, Mandi's stepsister who was so pretty and... I guess strong-willed would describe her best. And her brother Kyle, who looks a lot younger than he is I guess (I never really got an age on him) He is ... loud and has a great sence of humor. OH and unexpectedly I got to meet her cousins, or second cousins or something like that. Rebecca and Elis. They used to live in Colorado but then they decided they were having a mid-life-crisis together so they quit their jobs and roadtripped across the states to NY and are now bunking with Mandi's parents till they decide where they want to be. (a little crazy I think but to each his own). So that's it as far as family. I also got to meet Jenny and Tom who are good friends of Mandi's, they are sweet, Jenny is just like mandi (almost) and tom is a sweetheart, and good at small talk which we made a lot of as Mandi and Jenny caught up with eachother. I met Platta who is her swim coach from HS and loved him from the start! So that's it for the new people I met this weekend the next thing will be to tell you what we did now that you know the characters.

Just some news

To Take HUGE Test in Near Future
I will be taking my ATS-W the second of three certification tests this weekend (Sat at 1pm to be exact if you wanna pray for me) Much prayer is needed. I need to pass this to stay on track with the plans I am making regarding my student teaching and such. I will be taking my CST in the Spring. (updates: scores to follow in a few months)

Small Time Girl to Becomes Heavy Lifter
Rachel and Mandi and I have been going to the gym for the last two weeks (and loving it). We are going to begin lifting on Wed. mornings... if you would like to join us ever we leave Christie around 6:20am, give us a call.

Homesickness Epidemic has Reached Epic Proportions
I am beginning to feel homesick (something I've been fighting for the last few days) I am looking forward to coming home in Nov. for a while for Thanksgiving. (key words there: *A While*)

Trip to Green Is On
Hoping to have my picture taken in the beautiful town of Green by their tree and their founders statue (again I would like to post some pics of it all for you but my web coordinator hasn't set that up yet) (*staz*). But there will be verbal descriptions to follow. I love that I'm from Mars and Mandi is from Green. We make quite a pair.

Seperation Anxiety to be Felt Throughout the US
My roomate is leaving me to go live in seclusion as a monk for a semester in Mexico. Ok that's a little dramatic but it couldn't be worse. I am already missing her. Please pray that we both accept this new venture with great ease.

Who knew?

WHO KNEW:
1 that really out of shape people can run 2 miles three days in a row under 20 min. (Yeah for out of shape me!)
2 The craving for chocolate can become so bad that it goes in the opposite direction and you detest the sight or smell of the stuff (I hate boys)
3 Talking to your ex boyfriend(s) can be theropudic on a bad day
4 Who knows how to spell theropudic
5 Roommates can gett annoyed by you and not even tell you till life really sucks then all the sudden they get chatty
6 I love my roomate because she's beautiful
7 That I can only think of 7 who knews on this horrablly awful day

The New Me

I'm taking up coffee and early morning running, I'm becoming a new person! (the exclamation is not an expression of joy, even though that's what it always means when you see one, but grammatically it doesn't have to be about joy, it could just be about astonishment or revelation, that's what this one is about) I am becoming a new person, one who runs at 7am, and drinks coffee afterwards and one who is married to her work (not my school work though so it's really not as good a thing as you think it might be) and I'm becoming one of those people who updates their blog everyday (or close to it) becaue they have noone else to talk to except themselves, I dont think that's my problem, I just have words stuck inside of me that can't get out no matter how hard I try to get rid of them they only just change languages or grow bigger! (again astonishment) I don't know what to do except blow them onto this screen and out into the world, hopeing against all hope that they will eventually find a place to be and they will stay there and stop tomenting me.... I'm becoming a new person

random

I'm taking up coffee

On the right track (an update)

I've been reflecting on life lately and this is not a reflection but an update...
I am doing well here at Nyack, I am loving my work, my new manager is tons of fun, well my Sr at least, Wendy I'm not sure of yet cause we never work together EVER, she only works with Miguel and some of us think there may be something going on.. but noone can prove anything so we are just thinking they are really good family friends. I have gotten to hang out with Nathalie (or other Asst. Mngr) she is amazing, she's a Hatian immigrant who has been here a little over a year. She has done amazing things with her life. She studied law in Haiti and then worked as an English teacher (now you know why we get along so well) and interpreter Then she moved to the US and sold shoes (what a step back huh?) but she didn't see it as a step back, her enthusiasm for life is the most amazing thing. She lives in one bedroom apt. with her Aunt and her kids and her mother. How crowded, no wonder she likes coming to work. So that has been rewarding.. pray for her, her view on Chrisitanity is very bleak because of past experiance.
My classes are going ok. They are classes what is there to say, I have my first Bib. Doct. Exam... everyone is freaking out about it but it's really not gonna be that hard (I don't think) ANYWAY.. I should go study for it in the last 15 min I have so have a great day, I'm on track for one...

Life

It doesn't suck, its just blah. Do you ever have days like that.. when you really wish you could call your exboyfriend because he was such a good listener, and you just want to talk to your mom but you aren't getting along right now for some reason that noone can figure out and your Spanish pronunciation is going to the pigs. None of it is life shattering however none of it makes for the best day... So that's where I'm at, just life, not that it sucks or that it's wonderful but just that it is.
Like I said, I don't know why I don't feel like talking to my mom, we have a great relationship and I can always tell her everything (even when it gets me in trouble for telling her). It's just that lately I just want to talk to her not as a mom but as a friend, who understands what I'm going through and I know she wouldn't agree with how my life is being run right now but really it's my life and while I appriciate her input, I think it's time I make some mistakes. That doesn't make much sense since if I know they are mistakes why would I choose to do them? well that's a good question... maybe because I can and maybe because I just want to do something for once that they don't approve of or have a say over...
*aren't you sopposed to rebel against your parents when you are living with them?*
I don't know what I'm doing with my life. This morning I was thinking about goals and what my goals are for this year and sadly I don't have any... just finish out one more year and maybe bring up my GPA a little and not fight everytime I see my parents. Those are the lamest goals I have ever seen and the really sad thing is... they are mine.. this is my life, not good, not bad, not quite ugly but just LIFE.

Wet tshirt contest

This isn't funny God... today it wasn't sopposed to rain, it was a good day and still is but I just didn't want to have it rain on me in my thin little white tshirt... yuck.. and then I had to walk back across the entire campus in my see-through shirt to my dorm to change and now I'm typing to you.. I guess it could have been worse.. but who knows... Anyway.. today is a great day.. everyone I have talked to agrees... even my sister Stasi.. I think, I talked to her before she worked all day watching someone elses children and I haven't been to work but hopefully things will go well.. I had yesterday off and that was nice.. I took a 3 hr nap (no more than that Mandi). it was delightful! and than Steph called and we decided to do something which turned into a hunt for the New York Times for Justin so we could borrow one of his DVD's ... good times.. well I'm gonna change and go to dinner.. maybe the food will be good.. now I'm being way to opptomistic.

life sucks

life isn't easy, a lot of time you have to make decisions that you don't want to make. Life isn't fair, you rarely ever get your way. Life isn't always fun, sometimes you have to be an adult. Life sucks.

here's to the single life

I've never been so misirably blissful, I just burst into tears for no reason, well there usually is a reason but it's not that real reason cause I don't know what the real reason is. I'm an emotional train wreck and I can't take it. Jimmy and I brok up (my choice).. and that doesn't mean that I don't care about him or that I never want to see him again but I feel like me keeping in touch is killing him slowly and he's too pridful to say anything. I know sometimes when we get off the phone I cry, I can't put a finger on why or what caused it but I just feel like a part of me is missing. I hear that normal when you give peices of yourself to someone and then that someone dies, that's what's sopposed to happen, not that you arne't together anymore, they are sopposed to die, not that I would ever want Jimmy to die! I would NOT be able to handle that if he did. So I'm glad that he's not dead (beyond glad) but really I guess you are sopposed to get a commitment and have a commitment to someone before you give your heart away.
*note to self*
remember to look ahead before jumping in with both feet
*back to the ramble*
I just don't know what to do and he thinks I have all these people who are supporting me and lifting me up when I cry and all these people who I can call anytime I want to and I prolly do have a number of people like that. but I'm to 'hold it together' to call them. (most of them) I just had an episode and I picked up my phone and I needed to talk to someone and I couodn't think of one person, so I called my sister, who didn't answer her phone (when I needed her the most *guilt trip*) and so than I had no one. I tried my other sister who also has a life and wouldn't take my call... so that's it, two people who I'm related to so they have to love me and accept me and they can't even help and I guess I could call someone else but I don't want to get into it with anyone here, they are all concerned with how I feel and they will keep asking me when really I just need someone to talk me down off this ledge and get me sane and then never mention it again... and in all this stupid me thought I could reconnect with my ex... whoa Abi, where was my support then, nowhere apparently, I'm not ready for that. I can't handle getting over Jimmy and getting over him at the same time, not that I'm not over him, I am but really it's like reliving everything all over again and I don't want to have to deal with that, maybe that's what God is trying to tell me that I need to just get over things all at once, like a crash course. who knows. I need to do some school work, maybe I'll catch you up later, just to clarify, Jimmy and I are over as are Dustin and I. I have no desire to date anyone for a very long time, even if the new guy is really nice, I'm honestly thinking of just being single for the rest of my life, but part of me still wants to go on dates and be treated like a princess and be able to do it on my own time and all that jazz which is never gonna happen cause that's not the way the world works. so here's to the single life. (I know this is confussing but if I didn't put it out there I wouldn't ever and it's really just thoughts as they run through my head they aren't concrete and no decisions, mine or yours should be made based on them they'll prolly change tomorrow, so here I am.. AGH