Good Day

Things that are Good about Today:
1. I passed my CST (261)
*yeah for me!*
2. The sun is shining and I'm not wearing a scarf for the first time in 5 days
3. My sister is having a worse day than I am. (sorry about the yougurt)
4. I had breakfast with my roomie
5. Midterms aren't quite as scary today. :)
6. Jesus loves me (I learned that in sunday School)

Too Little Too Late

So I've been reading blogs from friends (because I'm a bad one and I have no other way of finding out what is going on in their lives than reading their online blogs) but I am encouraged to see that I am not the only one who is overwhelmed with being a Sr. in college. I am not the only one who has taken on too much in an effort to fit it all in to the last 'wonderful' moments of being in college. I am not alone in feeling disillusioned that being a Sr. would suddenly make life exciting and add more hours to my days. I'm not the only one who has replaced good-byes with 'let's hang out sometime' (both sides knowing the whole time that seeing eachother is just a nice thought and won't acctually come to be)
Maybe I have loaded myself too full this semester, maybe I've taken on too much, maybe I set the standards too high for myself as a friend and girlfriend and student and employee. Maybe.
I like Meg's idea, I'm moving to Australia with her.

My Current State

I'm home, yes, I didn't go to my roomies for the weekend, even though it was her birthday party... I'm a bad friend. So I was going to stay at school for the break, then mandi needed me to come and meet her half way to pick up the girl who she took with her (cause the girl had to be back Mon and mandi's not coming back till Tue). So then I went to church, freaked out and then decided to come home. I packed in 3 min. and jumped in my car and went home. Life is good. (the only thing about packing in 3 min is that you forget things... like undergarments...) such is life.. I'm glad to be home.

just a note to those who wonder

There was valet parking, cocktail hour and a Russian ball room involved. Life is good.

Warm (Fuzzy) Things

I have three warm things... well four warm things I guess....
I have a warm fuzzy sweater from my mommy and my ami
I have a warm fuzzy feeling because the package I picked up today was for me! (last time I picked up a package, I opened it and inside was a HUGE fuzzy pink sweater, "Who would send this to me" I thought so I looked for a letter (there was none) so I looked on the outside and realized that they gave me the wrong package.... I felt so bad for opening it.
I also have warm coffee, which is not fuzzy (thank the lord)
And finally I have hot chocolate which is not warm at the moment (I'm drinking coffee) but it will be warm when I make it.
Thanks you mommy and ami for my package.. I can't wait to see you guys. sorry it won't be till Thanksgiving. :(
think warm fuzzy thoughts till then.

Tomorrow is a New Day

"Everyday is new, with no mistakes in it yet" -Anne
I like that quote, it's soothing to me, makes me feel better, like in a couple minuets all the crap that's going on will end.

I'll suddenly be able to take my private jet home for an evening to hug my mommy
I'll suddenly be able to write an expert essay on one or more novels from my class (I didn't 'get' any of them)
I'll suddnely be able to understand empty nest syndrome and will find a cure
I'll suddenly know what is going on with my big sister, whom I am feeling so disconnected from I feel like I should take my private jet there first.
I'll suddenly be seeing my roommate whom I haven't talked to in going on 3 days now
I'll suddenly have 4 more hours in my day to get done the things I didn't get done yesterday and last week

I have a feeling that in a couple minuets I will be in bed, and I will have forgotten the problems of today, and maybe just maybe when I wake up I can stay in a blissfully ignorant state for a little bit.
A little bit would be nice.

My Cell Phone Made Me Do It.

so you ever have times in your life when you are fully convinced that everyone you know is insane? That no one knows what's going on and that you should know because you figured out that someone should know what's going on? I'm there. Stuff at home is ... shall we say... not so good? I can't call my big sister to talk to her and ask her expert advice (plus she's going insane and chatting with coworkers about undergarments at lunch) I can't call my lil sis because she's at school and just as crazy as my older sister and I are. My brother is to young to sholder the burden which I carry (how formal does that sound). My father apparently cries everytime he hears my name (either from insanity or out of distress for my current state) I'm pretty sure it's both. My mother and I can't seem to have a conversation where one of us doesn't cry. Maybe it's this cell phone? I'm getting a new one soon... hopefully. Maybe that will help. That's it, let's blame the cell phone.

The Sun is Shining

I took a test today... it took me 2 hours... it was sopposed to take 4 hours... I got lost on my way there but my amazing directionally challenged self redirected me and I made it to the testing site with 20 min to spare... I took the test and didn't fall asleep even though I had to get up at like 6am this morning to take the test... There were people up and blowdrying thier hair even before I was in the shower... I am fairly sure that I passed the test...my phone is in a box ... currently I have more phones than miss brenda... I have 3 phones... :) ... I am smiling because I have had a wonderful day... The sun is shining.. my roomie is amazing... my mom is lovely and efficent... my sisters are beautiful (even though they never call me)...and did I mention that the sun is shining?

A Necessary Repetition

It's been a while... but life has been rough. (the understatement of the month). Yesterday I had a Stasi moment. to clarify, I have this sister, whom I love. She sometimes has moments where she stops functioning. Where life just gets too overwhelming. And all bodily functions shut down. I was sitting in a field talking to my mother the other day (I have the world's best mom by the way). So I'm in the field, just crying and having a breakdown and my mom is trying to calm me down and I realized that this is what it's like for Stasi when I am talking to her. It's all stuff she knows, all stuff I know. It's all stuff she's told herself, stuff I've told myself. But it's still stuff she needs to hear, I need to hear. Life is sometimes like that. A series of repetition that is necessary. So one more time: just for repetitions sake: I love you mom! thanks a million for being there for me! and thanks to Stasi, and Ami and Matt and Pastor Dave. You're all great!
**I'm doing better now**

just for you

Just to update you all, don't get to used to the idea of Mandi with a peirced nose, she had to take it out. Apparently she is allergic to Surgical steel and she broke out in hives yesterday pretty badly. She's on the upswing now but sad about the nose peircing. That's all the time I have. more later

Unproductive

Hey all, this is abi, feeling kind of unproductive. ok not just feeling but being.
I don't have classes on Tues. or Thur. most times I will work both jobs on these days, but today I am only working at JCCY (without sarah!! AHH) And that means that I have sooo much more time to get caught up on work so that later when pple want to hang out I will be able to. BUT I have not been doing work, I have been reading Harry Potter (I'm almost done) and talking to Mandi and dancing around the room and I still haven't showered and I still haven't gotten dressed. But I have to do that soon cause Mandi and I are going to have her nose peirced, YEAH! we have been planning it for a bit and now we are going to do it. fun. I'm not getting any extra holes in me though so don't worry mom.
today on the way to breakfast (yeah I've been doing nothing that long), we were wondering if you could gage your nose peircing? like a spare nostril, what do you think? and if it rained would you drown or would you have to get a gage with a plug? We thought it was interesting, maybe we'll ask when we go to get her nose peirced (we decided she shouldn't gage it though, because we are wise)
Alright well that's really it. Classes are going ok, too much reading for my likeing but I get to see family this weekend hopefully..... love you all!

Simply Life as Usual

I'm back at school... can't remeber if I said that already, prolly. So last night there was a hurricane here in Nyack. (or the outskirts of a hurricane, I'm not a uber-weatherwoman yet) I was in Queens and had to get back and as we were driving toward the tapan-zee we saw a tree blocking the road comming off the Tappan-Zee (I'm not sure if there are two "p's" or not) So Jimmy was stuck in Nyack for a couple hours till they cleared the tree... that wasn't a very exciting story if you didn't see the HUGE tree blocking all the lanes of traffic. (you'll get over it I bet) So life here is good. (other than the hurricane) How is life for you?

update

So today I started classes: no classes this semester on any days starting with a "T"! so tomorrow I'm off to do stuff I need to get done for my two independent studies.
*small happy dance*
Just got out of my first class as a Sr. the prof is ok, not the most interesting and only because he makes a LOT of connections. which usually I would find interesting however he connects everything too much until you can't see the connections anymore just a web of messy connections. I think though that once he's only talking about one book instead of 8 it will improve and bost being an interesting class. I also enjoyed his tirade on being on time for class after he himself was 10 min. late to class... I love Nyack!
The next class is Children's Literature, Wed. are literature days with Modern Novel and Children's literature. It should be fun and interesting!
I have yet to look at books, to price them or order them or anything, but I figure most of them I can get from the local libraries, which is good cause I'm 'a poor college student'.
On that 'poor' note, I do have two jobs this semester, one at good old picture people, although I am not a manager this year and will not be working as many hours as in past years. I will again be working at the after school program, JCCY (Jewish Community Center for Youth) I just learned what it stands for! yeah me!
that's the update on me... what's going on with you?

Bedlum

An amendum for those of you who also read Miss Brenda's blog on Bedlum.
while doing some further research on the word and it's origin and meaning. I found that bedlum is also a term or name used to describe a cross dressing DJ. Since my name was associated with the post saying that bedlum is a wondering hoodlum, I wanted those of you who are in search of truth to have a resource where you can find the answers.

My Favorite Havener

So yesterday Alex and I went minigolfing (there should be hyphen there huh?) It was a ton of fun. Last summer we spent so much time together but this summer I have missed not seeing him as much, what with me being at work and him being with the sitter. I realized how hard it's going to be to leave home to go back to school. (not that the thought could disuade me from going) I'll miss him... no offence to the other wonderful Haveners but I believe Alex has won the spot of "My Favorite Havener" of the week...

Showers of Blessings indeed

So the summer is nearing its end. It's been full of suprises both expected and unexpected, good and bad. But there's nothing really to complain about. Jimmy was here this past weekend. He went to the family reunion. It wasn't the most sucessful showing I'm sure, but we left with out being run out or cursed at. (I guess the family has more class than that) Really it wasn't bad. I liked being able to see him! A lot. We had some great talks and some time together before I go back to school and we only have limited time to see eachother.
Lately God has been doing some awesome things in the way of showing me great things that I should have known for a long time but have conveniently forgotten... Like that he loves me and that I need to recognize that in my everyday life. That He wants to be a big part of my everyday life, not just Sunday mornings and select days throughout the week when I feel spiritual. It's been encouraging. Thank the Lord for parents, writer, pastors and church family who in their own ways reflect the love that the Lord desires to shower upon me!

All Creatures of Our God and King

This morning as you can see, I awoke at an earlier time than usual. I made some coffee and then sat outside for a bit (just a couple min but still). The mornings are beautiful, unmarked, they remind me that every day is new with no mistakes in it yet. If you are anything like me, your day is full of mistakes by the end. But in the morning you don't have to think about that. You can just focus on the wonderful creation of God. (and the frew brewed coffee isn't bad either)

Ho Humm

Life's been pretty ho-humm lately. Just chillin with the Fam. Alex and I spent some quality time together after P.D. had surgery on his neck/back on Fri. That was good cause I miss that little guy. Last summer I spent SOO much time with him... like every waking moment. but this summer miss brenda saw fit to hire a sitter 3 or so days a week, cutting into my time with the little guy! We are going to go minigolfing soon, prolly next week. We'll see. Other than that I realized today that this summer I've been kinda a recluse. Not that I don't have the opportunity to hang out with my friends (what few are in the area this summer) Just that lately I haven't been in the mood to be with anyone, friend or foe. It's strange... I'm missing them though.. I need to make an effort to see them all b-4 they go back. HO-HUMM

Presb.

So this summer I am working at a presb USA church. They really aren't I guess if you think about it hard. Presb. I mean. really they spend more time offending others in their presbetary and making fun of them that they really aren't part of it... at least not in spirit. Which makes me think about why they are in it at all.. but that's not for me to debate.
Tonight they had the Beaver/Butler Presb. mtg here. It was quite an ordeal, and the air conditioning broke and it was sooo disgusting in the worship center.. gross, I got sick just from walking in the room... But that's all over now.
They have a book of order which is a book of rules and proceedures... that was strange, you learn something new everyday!
I liked it though it bought me an extra day off this week... or half day depending on when I take it. :)

Vacation

Vacation, vacation, lovely vacation... I did a tour of the East coast. Starting with Nyack and ending who knows where. I got to Nyack, had coffee and a thunderstorm with Jimmy and then went to bed. Had lunch the next morning with Jenny (who's working up there this summer) and then left for Delta! (with directions that sounded like: get on the thruway, go for two hours then get off, find 26, there are roads in between there but we don't really know them, then you'll pass dollar general and eckard and then the Salvation Army camp on the right we are about 2 min past that...) (Thanks to Anders and Mandi who's directions actually did get me there)
OMG if I could live up there I would. I got there and attended the Haven Talent Show... which this year features many talents including but not limited to; juggling, karate, many dance solos, cowboy and indians (in which a camper 'shot' counselors with his finger and they all fell down), a dramatization of Bible stories (one in which Daniel saved Joseph from the lions den) and my favorite Joyce who 'acted like a tree'! (one arm up and the other out to the side, it was delightful)
I spent two nights there with Mandi... in the most adorable little cabin imaginable. it had these shutters... wow, I want shutters like those in my dream home, they were soooo neat.
Haven was an experiance that I'll not forget for many moons to come, from being told to 'be good' to the many high fives and ending with the whistles from Esteban's campers... I had soo much fun...
Plus the best part of all I got to see my Mandi.

Oh to be on vacation forever!

Mandi made me fall in love with this song: plus it's called "Bannana Pancakes"... could you not love it? I don't think so:

You hardly even notice When i try to show you
thisSong is meant to keep you From doin what your supposed to
Wakin up too early Maybe we could sleep in
Makin banana pancakes
Pretend like its the weekend now
We could pretend that all the time
Cant you see that its just rainin
There aint no need to go outside
Lady lady love me
Cuz i love to lay here lazy
We could close the curtains
Pretend like theres no work outside
We could pretend that all the time
Cant you see that its just rainin
There aint no need to go outside