Another First

Claire's first (real) snow came today! We are very excited and hope to go out again for a couple minuets later on. Here are some pictures...

Food in Solid Form

Claire ventured beyond her current horizon to tackle solid food today. Yesterday we cleared it with her Dr. and we couldn't wait to try some mighty tasty rice cereal. (pappi talks it up so much)






Bibs were a fun new accessory, we like them


Our first Bite!






A Success!

Cross it Off Baby

you will be glad to know that I have achieved some of my New Year's resolutions already! It kinda beats the feeling that I don't do anything all day.
So far I have :
Taken the wallpaper off the wall in our bedroom (the walls are now a vibrant blue from the 70's)
Gone to TWO restaurants with my husband that don't have paper napkins (by ourselves once(thank you mandi)!)

I have also discovered that I can not take a bath at my house, because my tub doesn't hold water, so I have to figure out what to do about that.

In general, it makes me feel good, I wish I could cross things out online, so I could get that satisfaction. Maybe I'll write them down and cross them off. Mailing them to myself and smashing them with a hammer is also appealing.

How are your New Year's resolutions coming?

Motherhood

Some days all you get done is changing diapers and you get to the end of the day and wonder where the other 10 hrs went.
And as an update: I made rice yesterday and nobody died or choked and it was good! Yeah for mastering rice.

Love to Laugh

Love to Laugh

I love to laugh
Loud and long and clear
I love to laugh
It's getting worse ev'ry year

The more I laugh
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I'm a merrier me
It's embarrassing!
The more I'm a merrier me!

Some people laugh through their noses
Sounding something like this "Mmm..."
Some people laugh through their teeth goodness sake
Hissing and fizzing like snakes

Some laugh too fast
Some only blast - ha!
Others, they twitter like birds
Then there's the kind
What can't make up their mind

When things strike me as funny
I can't hide it inside
And squeak - as the squeakelers do
I've got to let go with a ho-ho-ho...
And a ha-ha-ha...too!

We love to laugh
Loud and long and clear
We love to laugh
So ev'rybody can hear
The more you laugh
The more you fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more we're a merrier we!

Don't forget to laugh and smile and laugh some more. Maybe you could host a tea party on the ceiling. What ever you do today, Do it with a smile on your face.

(we also love Mary Poppins)

My Crazy Daughter

My crazy daughter would rather play with a blanket than with the gym I bought her. It lights up and plays animal or Mozart music and it has a chime that chimes when you hit it with your feet or hands and is a VERY pleasant noise for a child's toy... but my daughter would rather cuddle and snuggle with her favorite blanket and play peek-a-boo with mommy than play with the gym. Go figure, I wish she could talk to tell me this so I didn't buy the gym :( But she can't talk so we will continue to guess.
Think she'll like a bath today?

Sick

Today I am sick. Chills and fever and nausea and weak and tired sick. This stinks.
On a lighter note; yesterday I ordered my groceries online. ALL of them. It was kinda strange but worked really well. And to think I thought my mom was strange for ordering produce offline...

Killer Rice

Not only can I not boil and egg. Which btw, the correct answer is to boil it for about 10-15 min. not any of the cleaver choices I came up with. (sad :( ) I also am incapable of rice. You know the chineese food staple and over all simple thing to make and eat. Well I can't make it or put it in anything apparently. I tried to make rice the first time and it was an oooy gooey mess. Then I tried to make it another time and it came out 'ok' but the lemon juice I put in with the wild rice bleached some of the color and made all the rice a weird pinky color (and it tasted like acid). Then last night I made stuffed peppers! They would have been sooo good if the rice inside wasn't hard as a rock. I'll tell you how bad it was, Jimmy tried to eat his and he choked trying to swallow. (again sad :( ) So rice and I don't get along but soon I will master it and then watch out! (I'm not sure what you should watch out for when I master it but right now you should watch out for my rice, next time it might kill someone.)

Hard Boiled

This is how an egg should NOT look when you are 'hard boiling' it. I have tried to call both sisters to discover if an egg is hard boiled when either:
A. It floats
B. It turns over
C. It changes color
D. It explodes

Obviously I chose D, because it was the most exciting choice.

I needed to know this because I'm making dinner. (yes it's kind of an event) I'm making potato ham salad stuff It tastes good, I had to try it so I knew weather to make a meatloaf in case it wasn't good enough to serve my husband.

What would you choose if you were hard boiling an egg?

Yeah for Omeletts

I never thought that omelettes could make a day so WONDERFUL! but they do. You should try it. Jimmy and I went 'out' for the first time since we got married yesterday. We took Claire, who slept through it (because it was the FIRST time I'm sure). It was sooo wonderful. I forget what else happened yesterday but it was good.

Stuffing Her Face

Claire has discovered her 'teeth'. She doesn't have any real ones but she chooses to chew on EVERYTHING! We really do need to baby-proof the house now.

A New Year

Things I plan to do in this new year:
1. Take the wallpaper off the wall in my bedroom (I started yesterday and this might indeed take me all year to achieve)
2. Take a bubble bath (sometime)
3. Go OUT to dinner with my husband (to somewhere that doesn't have paper napkins) (my husband and I don't go OUT, and he has never taken me anywhere that has paper napkins, except my mom's house) (he made me write that)
4. Travel to see my oldest, dearest sister before she leaves the country (I hope I have to do this soon)
5. Travel to see my younger, lovelyer (is that a word) sister (I hope I have some time to do this one)
6. Fly
7. Ride a pony at my Grandmother's house
8. Lose 20 lbs

Mobile (and not my phone)

I'm amused lately by the smallest things, probably because I never leave the house. But today I got a good look at Claire's newest form of movement. She can turn herself while lying on her back. I wasn't sure how she did it before but today I watched her do it. She kicks her feet up in the air so she's a 90 degree angle then she falls over to her side. Then she straightens her legs out.. don't ask me how it works but it does. It's slow going but it's just enough to make her 'mobile' for the first time... scary.

Naked in the Bathtub

You know those pictures your mom took of you 'naked in the bathtub'? and you said to yourself, 'why would she do something like that?' and 'isn't she supposed to be watching me so I don't drown, when does she have time to take pictures?' Well today I realized why my mom took those pictures. There is something about naked babies that makes you want to take their picture. I took Claire's first 'naked in the bathtub' pictures today. I  thought about posting them but I am close enough to those of you who ask all those questions that I will spare her the embarrassment of having naked pictures of herself posted on the internet. So smile, no one is taking 'naked in the bathtub pictures of you anymore!

In Awe

This Christmas was Claire's first. She really enjoyed it, more than I thought she would.
She also changed the 'Christmas experiance' for me. I was at the candle light service and the pastor said something about Mary knowing from the beginning that Jesus was purposed to die. It made me think back to something Alex said 'Claire really has no purpose yet but she sure is cute'. I can't imagine what Mary might have felt when she woke up on his first birthday and realized that he was going to die a horriable death for the freedom and salvation of the human race. Everyone dies, I know that one day Claire will die (unless Christ comes before that day) But I don't think about it constantly, Mary might have. I can't imagine what she felt. It made Christmas and the Christmas story so much more 'real' having had Claire this year.
I am in awe of my Savior and his sacrifices for me this Christams season.

Yawn

btw Claire went to her first Holiday party yesterday! she liked and it was one of her first 'firsts' she didn't sleep through.

She was happy about it

A Tree and Some Shots

We got a tree and five shots, the tree was mostly good, as were the shots actually. Let me tell you about them:

The Tree

Jimmy and I left Claire for the first time since we moved here and we got a tree (Oh, we left her with someone, someone reliable)(That was for GB who was wondering why we left her alone and was putting on her coat or calling her lawyer, or maybe both)Anyway, we got a tree, we picked it out all by ourselves (with the help of a nice boy scout)(that made me miss Greg). Then we tied it to Jimmy's car (OOOO I drove to the tree place, all by myself)(This is mainly the reason that Claire didn't come with us). And once it was on Jimmy's car, he drove us home and we brought our tree in and we lit it up (after stringing the lights ourselves, I don't understand the pre-strung ones) and we placed all my ornaments on it (even the new one from Miss Brenda)(Thank you!  :))(He he, he looks like he has a double chin) ANYWAY, it looks great and when my camera comes back to me (it's on vacation on LI) I will take pictures and post them. The mantle also got done up and it is my favorite part of the house.

The Shots

Claire went to the doctor today, he is Jewish, this is only important if you are waiting in the waiting room and you see a 'rag' on the floor and if you had known that the doctor and most of his cliental are Jewish you would have been able to identify the 'rag' as a jamica (Which I'm sure isn't spelled correctly b/c Steve (my computer) is telling me so)(but he speaks as much Hebrew as me so we aren't a great pair for fixing that problem). So we was the doctor who was very nice and Claire got FIVE shots. Well one was an oral vaccine so there were really only four shots but that's a lot when you are only 2 1/2 months and not even 13lbs yet. She did very well, I held her and she screamed but after the first two shots (during intermission) she calmed down and after the last two shots she fell asleep, in fact she is still asleep. (I should be doing something useful actually, like cleaning the bathroom or doing the dishes from the dinner we never ate last night)(but I'm not). 

So overall, our house is pretty and our baby is a good shot taker. Life is good here and we can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

My Amazing Sisters

My sisters are amazing. They came this weekend to visit me and they transformed this house... here are some before pictures of what the house looked like (well the one room we had time to tackle)

They scrubbed and taped and PAINTED!! like mad women and they love me so much! I can tell that they do because they did all this gross work. Here are some pictures of the process.

Then we finally finished after some sick and tired-ness with an amizing project finished and AMAZING results! take a look for yourself.

I love my sisters!

My First Married Post

This is My first married post. Lets see if it's any different. I don't feel that different, things aren't that different. I mean I'm married so Jimmy is around all the time, I like that. And I have help at night with Claire, I like that. And I am cooking for two not one or 5, I like that. And I have my own house, I like that too. So I guess some things are different, but better. Like the new that Beth was talking about.. if you want to know what I'm talking about, just ask miss brenda, she knows and my book somehow got lost in the move, but I'll unearth it soon, I can almost see the other side of the pile of my stuff. I think I'll conclude with a list of things I love about my new home.
1. washer & dryer
2. hot water
3. bathtub (to relax in)
4. Claire's own room
5. stove
6. Fireplace
7. my husband:)
8. internet in my house

My life is crazy

Just a quick "My life is crazy" update. I am getting married this weekend! Yeah! There will be pictures and I hope they are beautiful (I know they will be). I still don't have flowers and my bridesmaid dresses are full of pins cause they still need altered, and I don't really have an order of service yet. So all in all I still have about 4 days to pull it all together and with the help of those who love me I'm sure it will be a magical day!

After the wedding (like right after) we are moving Claire and Me to NY, and settling in there. Which will be an adventure for more than a few reasons.

Claire is 6 weeks and growing like crazy, yesterday I went to dress her and the outfit I had out for her didn't fit her... she's all growed up :( (see picture below)

Thankful, a month early

Thing you take for granted:

1. Taking a shower whenever you want

2. Eating a whole meal in a sitting (when it's hot)

3. Talking on the phone when you feel like it

4. Wearing only one outfit a day (the one you picked out in the morning)

5. Jeans (that fit)

More to come... Having a baby makes you thankful for all the little things in life

I'm thankful for this 'little thing' especially

Motherhood

So I am offically a mom, I coo over other babies and compare them to my own, I even cried at a huggies commercial the other day (they tell you this will happen but you put it up there with craving paint chips and metal shavings). And to top it all off I told my sisters that famous mother line "When you have kids of your own, you'll understand" WOW... It just happens, like your hair growing (mine needs cut btw) you do nothing to provoke it, but BAM it happens. Life seems to be happening at a faster pace these days.

What am I getting myself into

I was lamenting to my sister just today that I seem to have little to actually blog about and then BAM! I speak with a young Italian man and I have enough to blog about to take me into the new year.
I was speaking with the Italian man to set up our reception dinner and WOW...
so you have to call him on his cell phone and you would expect that you could be treated as a business call. but don't count on it here. In the course of our conversation while discussing menu options he says to me, would you like me to conference my mother into this, (she's the cook and could give very good insite) I was impressed, then he says to me, "hold on my mom's outside, she lives accross the street" and proceeds to yell across the street to his mother about our dinner selections. Then he runs across the street and I guess almost gets hit by a car (I heard the beep of a car) Then his dog almost gets hit trying to follow him and he interupts our conversation to yell at the dog to go home. After talking to his mother and then him again we worked out the dinner selections. THEN we had to talk about the other arrangements and I mentioned that we would most likely have place cards... he actually said to me "I am physically or mentally incapable..." of putting the place cards out for us. Although he did offer his wife's services. And then he tells me he's been doing this for seven years, SEVEN YEARS! and you still haven't figured out place cards.. oh my. By the end of the conversation he is helping his brother or father or someone change a tire on his truck, like giveing instructions inbetween talking to me. I asked for an estimate of how much we were looking at and how much of a deposit he needed and he told me how to figure it out and told me to send the check like he didn't have a pen and paper or a menu so if I could take care of figureing out how much it was going to cost that would be great... WOW I wouldn't beleive it if I hadn't actually had the conversation. And yet we will be having our reception at this Italian man's resturant. Hope to see you there.

I would like to say that the food at this man's resturant is very good and that he has a heart to help. This is not to say that he should be a party planner. He is a nice Italian man.

Quickest Update Ever

This is Claire Marie Iovino, Isn't she beautiful! I know I'm bias but all the nurses here say so too! (it's prolly cause they will be fired if they say otherwise, but that only applies to ugly babies, of which ours is not one) (as you can clearly see)

She was born at 7:29am on September 26 weighing in at 7lbs 15oz. and a whopping 20in in length! (everything will end in an exclaimation point for the next couple days, excuse me for my excitement)

What you've accomplished here is good

I'm still pregnant, at least for now, but I am 3 or 4cm dialated! I love how they phrase things to you when you are pregnant. Like when the doctor told me that I was 3 or 4cm dialated he used the phrase, "What you've accomplished here is good." which is supposed to make you feel good about where you are at, and it does. But really, I have done realitively nothing to get myself to dialate. I mean if sitting around eating everything in sight counts as accomplishing something, I understand why some women want to be pregnant all the time. I think everyone should use that phrase for everyday things, like telling you your cold has cleared up "What you've accomplished here is good." Or when you finish your dinner "What you've accomplished here is good." or when your hair grows an inch "What you've accomplished here is good" It's just ubsurd and I can't really convey how absurd it is. But I guess What I've accomplished here is good.

Blame your ankles

So last week I went to the doctor, when you are pregnant they still do the weigh in thing every time you go (and you go almost once a week). It's like their way of torturing you for some unknown reason. I mean, if I were an OB I would invent a scale where you don't have to watch them slide the little bars around, first they slide the little one all the way to the right (as if they can't already see that they are no way no how going to balance the bar by moving the little one) Then they move the big one, which makes that horrifying clunk noise when it locks into the groove, screaming to you that you have passes the 150 lb mark. And as if it's not all bad enough they do it about 5 inches in front of your face while you have nothing else to watch except the horrible sight in front of you, and even though you don't wanna look and do the math; you do. I'm telling you, scales where they do all the sliding and clunking behind your back would really be a big hit, add that to your book Miss Brenda.
So anyway, in one week I gained 5lbs.! Now granted when you are pregnant you are supposed to gain weight, but 5lbs in 7 days seems a bit excessive to me. And apparently it was to the doctor too. He noted that fact aloud (just in case I hadn't done the math in my head already). Then he asked me if my ankles were swollen... WHAT!?! I mean swollen ankles are part of being pregnant too, but 5 lbs in my ankles, I think we would have noticed that right off the bat; when I could no longer stand up. In my ankles indeed. So the next time you gain weight just blame it on your swollen ankles. Apparently that's a very medical thing to do.

ps. Everything is fine, we attribute the weight gain to a big baby... who is very healthy and active.

Maternity- a time of transition

Alex makes me think again, he's really good for that; from alternate hands (what would yours be?) to 'car seats' and growing a second spine. Today he made me think about maternity. A word he learned through this whole pregnancy. He's begun to think of maternity as more than just a certain type of pants or tops and more like a time of transition to motherhood. I guess that's what it is, I've never thought of it that way, I guess to me it's been pants and tops. But today I made maternity pancakes; not quite as good as 'mom pancakes' but definately better than 'sister pancakes'. Everything in your life transitions in 'maternity mode', even the type of food you make. Alex also had the idea to market paternity clothes, I'm not sure what the difference would be but I'm sure someone would buy them, or some hormone crazed woman would buy them for her husband just because she has to wear maternity wear. Good idea.

I Saw My Life Flash Before My Eyes

When you die people say that your life flashes before your eyes, they never say though if it makes them cry or laugh. Today I had my life flash before MY eyes (not cause I was dying though) and it made me laugh so hard I cried at times...
It all started with the bathroom remodel upstairs, my mom wanted to put pictures of us potty training above the toilet (how cute huh?). So I volunteered to find the pictures, thinking it wouldn't take TOO long. (How wrong I was) We have about 2000 slides that I went through and I only found pics of Stasi and I and none of Ami (sorry hun, we'll have to take an updated one for the wall :) Anyway... you would never belive the things that you find out about your childhood or relatives when you look through your life. For examples:
-My uncle Ronnie was a coach for the livestock judging team after he graduated with his masters degree
-If I'm ever strapped for cash I have several aunts or cousins who would pay top dollar to have control of some of the pictures I found, either of hair-do's or outfits or faces, or all three.
-My sister Stasi and I went snorkling (in the bathroom sink)
-There were indeed ponies in the backyard when I was growing up, I have seen the pictures and you can no longer make me second guess my memories. (I'm sure Grandma had a pony too even though I haven't found the evidence to back that up)
-My mother won a contest for making an outfit entirely out of wool (we have the newspaper clipping)
-My family has an entire roll of film devoted to shopping for groceries, because they were on vacation, complete with the smiling cashere. (although they are strange the fruit pictures are priceless)
-My sisters and I were very theatrical when we were younger, we have played many rolls including and not limited to: Prarie girl playing trombone, Wizard, Mary, Angle of the Lord, Indian all of which we made the costumes for.. we have been seen in such productions as the Havener/Hurst Christmas Pagent of '93 and The Little Engine that Could, staring Stasi as the little red fire engine.
-My sisters and I could also convince anyone to dress up in anything, we have the pictures to prove it, Alex inherited it because there are pictures of everyone and thier mother (literally) wearing his football Helmet at least, if not the entire get up.
And those are just the highlights... tons more where that came from. Come on over we'll have a gay old time, cause I am only halfway through all the pictures... also if you know anyone who would be able to scan all 3 million of these slides and make them digital, that would be great... The place I called said it would take a month for 500 slides and it would cost $.75 per slide. WOW, I'm glad we have these memories.

Lamaze

Mom and I went to our first "baby class" yesterday, Lamaze; which is a silly name now that I stop to look at it. It also seems like it will never work, think about it, you may have seen the 'miracle of life' movie in your health class, remember the look on that mother's face? Childbirth is difficult, at least that's what seems to be the accepted conception of the activity. Anyway, in lamaze you are controling that pain through rythmic breathing and focus on other things. (like the farming game) I'm just not sure about it... but Miss Brenda says it works, so we'll go with that. Overall it went well, I learned about rythmic breathing slowly, and paced and candle blowing and this one technique that is almost like a game of simon, mom and I think we'll use that one in labor, we had fun last night doing it.
Being pregnant is more than just carrying a baby, and having strange food cravings and getting grumpy all the time. Although it is all of that, which those who are blessed to be close to me know all too well. It also makes you do things that you would normally think are absurd. Like when you first get pregnant and you go to your doctor, they actually ask you if you are craving paint chips... like to eat them. If someone asked that of you any other time, you would look at them like they had 12 heads, but apparently paint chips and glue are favorites of pregnant women all around the world. (you should not partake of these substances, they are harmful to you and your unborn child) Also, besides the non-food cravings that make you strange, you develop a strong bond with your pillows. I have 6 on my bed right now and some women have more than that plus a husband. You wrap pillows around yourself, the other night in fact I covered myself with pillows instead of a blanket, don't ask me why unless you are ready to ask the paint chip lady why. There is no reason, you just do it naturally. And the sick thing about your obsessive bond with your pillows is that they encourage it. Every book you read will encourage you to 'surround yourself with pillows' and last night I was instructed to take my affair with my pillows out into the real world, I had to bring 'two bedsize pillows' to class. I guess they are getting your ready for a multiple birth where you have to choose your favorites sometimes, because I have 6 pillows and I'm only allowed to bring two?! But don't worry, there are three classes and I get to bring two each time, everyone will get a turn.

Famous Last Words

I'll tell you now what.... it's been so long since I wrote that to try to catch up on all that has been missed would be impossible... but here are the highlights:
1. Finished up my student teaching under much stress from Nyack
2. Graduated... complete with noise makers and my entire family
3. Took my family around NYC, we rode a city bus!
4. Came home
5. Found out I am 5 months pregnant (SUPRISE!) (i am now 8 months along)
6. Got a job taking pictures at a photography studio in Wal-Mart
7. Got engaged to Jimmy, the love of my life
8. Was Maid of Honor at my sister's wedding (which was a lovely affair)
9. Began family counciling
So there you have the highlights. That's what happens when you end a post with "what now?" not such a good idea.

Teaching is Wonderful

teaching is wonderful. I learn new things everyday. Like what hemisphere Jamaica is in. And that my Carribean students are frantic over jerk chicken. Also today I went to a staff development. It was wonderful!! Amazing and encouaging. I have seen some pretty scary things in this placement. Like the guy sitting next to me was the Asst. Principal at the other Middle School in our district and he had a clipboard and on the first page it said: " Frequently Called Phone Numbers For Disiplinary Problems" And under that it had like 13 names with phone numbers and times of day when it was best to call. It's crazy! But the speaker today was wonderful and I saw new vision for a non- business model school system which would be wonderful to experiance. I also talked about Interdisipinary Projects which are the way to go! I am so excited to say that I went to a school that had a sucessful interdis. program. I wonder if they still do it?
Well like I said teaching is wonderful. I am enjoying it, and it's almost over, then what? who knows?

Home, not alone

I'm home, for break and to see Stasi, But so is everyone else. Like Micah and Ami and Aunt Sara and all her boys. Our house hasn't been empty since Tues. If I had known that I would have gotten all my 'alone' stuff done. Like lesson plans that are difficult for me to get together when there are other things going on. And laundry, since everyone else needs to do laundry too. (none of us have clean trousers) I'm home, but not alone.

One Step at a Time

So here's the deal, today I was thinking about sending out some more resumes to try to find a job so I'm not still living at home at 23 years of age. And I started to think about where I would go... overseas, stateside; urban, rural, suburb; elementary, middle, high school; public, private, camp setting, Christian; to look for pay or experiance... the questions and possibiblities are endless. And then, because that became daunting too quickly I began to think about where I had been... stateside, urban, rural, suburb, elementary, middle school, public. And all the places I wish to go.
This past week has been a stretch as I began my second placement. Coming from Kindergarten in a very affluent community to a middle school in a very urban area has been quite a switch. I am hearing things like administrators saying "Well it was only a slashing, not a stabbing, thank goodness". I have had to gain a key to get into the bathroom (and it only works on the floor I teach on). I have had to lock up anything that wasn't bolted to the floor, so it doesn't walk away. I have fallen in love, yet again. It's nice to be here, I have more kids but I can remember some of the kids names which I have help with since some of them have thier name shaved into the side of thier heads, or tatooed on thier bodies.
Over all I will see where this road takes me, but for now, I'll live in the moment, I'm only 22 so I have a year (right mom *wink *wink). And I've painted my toes so no matter where I go I can put my prettiest foot forward.

Making a Dent

So today marks a full week since I began this saga of finding a student teaching placement. But for the school it marks a full year since they began this process. I still don't understand why they can't just do thier jobs and get me into a school. Today I called twice, emailed twice, and stopped by twice. I have yet to talk to the student teaching coordinator in person, or on the phone, or via email. This is frustrating! I did call the Middle School and I am very pleased to say that the principal I wasn't sure existed does in fact exist and she is very sweet sounding on the phone, very friendly and helpful. I begin Thursday although I'm not sure that the Middle School knows what I am to be doing there since when I spoke with the principal and she didn't even know that I was needing an ESL placement. At this point I am demanding from the school that they send me all the forms they sent to the Middle School, and I'm pretty sure it's a short stack. (or none at all based on the information that the Middle School had.) So I go in Thursday! yeah, for finally making some sort of headway. Thanks to all who prayed and thought well toward me. I appriciate it. Keep it up.

Bordom Reigns

This week has been boring and frustrating as I just sat around and did basically nothing all week. Next week doesn't look that promising either. Basically my school can't get thier act together enough to find me a placement for my student teaching. So I am at thier mercy till they figure it out. So.... bordom reigns! If you would like to send me mail that would give me something to read and maybe cause I'm bored I'll write back.

My Last Day of Elementary School

So today was my last day. In the beginning they told us that our first placement would be the hardest to leave. I didn't beleive them when I met S and the rest of my kids. But now I do. I was prepared to say goodbye to them one class at a time and instead the Alina and Lizane had planned a big party for the end of the day. The kids had made me cards and pictures with notes. They are so precious! I almost cried, but didn't. Then my teacher got me a starting teacher kit which includes an exacto knife. I'm not sure what that means about my first year of teaching but we'll go with it. In all it was a good day. And tomorrow will be a whole other story....

Mini Moments That Make Me Laugh

While sharing about healthy eating habits L shared with the class that she didn't drink soda. Trying to elicit more language from her I asked why. Fishing for the answer like 'it has too much sugar' or 'it's bad for your teeth' or 'it has too much caffene.' But I never would have been prepred for the answer I got. "Because I'm Russian". Who knew?

We have show and tell everyday in Kindergarten ESL, one to two kids a day. Today was Jo's turn. He forgot his show and tell in his classroom so he had to go back and get it. I think he forgot all together because he came back with his winter hat. 'a strange show and tell' I thought but oh well to each his own. Then to my delight he turned the hat inside out and showed us the real show and tell item. The Tag! who would have thought? So today's show and tell was the tag from Jo's hat. We looked at the washing instructions and what the hat was made of. (100% cotton in case you were wondering)

One of my students who is very cooperative most of the time crack me up sometimes with his uncanny way of connecting chicken nuggets to anything. JW can make anything about chicken nuggets and the funny thing is that he can explain it to you in a way that in the end you feel like his reasoning is perfectly logical. So here's to JW and his chicken nuggets. (His mom says he won't eat them.)

Not Valid

So it has been quite some time since I have posted anything and I'm not sure this is going to post anyway because I am not valid. (Which seems to be the story of my life lately.) Google has taken over my blog and I'm not sure why it won't let me post things such as comments on my sister's blog because I'm not valid. It is sad to not be valid.
At school today I was not valid. I am administering state tests for NJ (which are the devil in paper form). However because I have ESL students who don't know what you mean when you give directions like "Only write on the lines provided"
"What does provided mean?"
"What do you think it means?"
"You're the teacher don't you know?"
"Yeah doesn't it say in that book you are reading from?"
"As a matter of fact, it doesn't say in this book I'm reading from. But I do know what provided means. But I can't tell you because this is a test" (I'm only allowed to say what the books says.)
"I don't beleive you."
"Ok provided means only write on the lines on the page, don't make up lines of your own or write anywhere else on the page."
"I still don't believe you, can we have snack now."

And so goes my non valid testing strategies out the window. I didn't feel so bad when I heard that the ESL kids scores don't go into the overall scores of the school and that most of the time my cooperating teacher does more than just reexplain directions in plainer than plain English.

Today I also dressed up as the cat in the hat and I got to light the principal's hat on fire. Well not the hat itself, just the candles on his hat. That was not something every student teacher gets to do, I wonder if I can put that on my resume. They keep telling us to remember things we do in our placements that not every student teacher gets to do. I think that counts. although I don't think it will help me get in good with the principals I am applying with. but oh well.

Miss Havener

So I am officially Miss Havener! It's strange, whenever I introduce myself to the students, I still say "Hi, I'm A..Miss Havener" It's kinda like Joe, my boyfriends nephew, who adds A to the beginning of every word he says. only with him it's cute cause he's 2 and with me it's not quite as cute cause I'm 19 years past the 'cute stage'. But my students are SO cute! I am in love with them already. I am teaching on the GW bridge, In Englewood Cliffs (North Cliff Elem. and Upper School Elem.) It's been tons of fun so far and now promises to be more work than I had imagined. Some days I wonder for a split second if I really want to do this FOR-EV-ER (yeah for the sandlot), and then one of my kids will say hi, or come to class ready to learn, and I forget that I even had that moment of doubt. I guess I'm in this for the long haul.

Cross Your Fingers

Its been a while since I wrote here, although I have been doing plenty of writing for school. My semester is over (Praise the Lord!), It ended hecticly as I tried to pull together all of the things I left to the last minuet. I got it all done and when the dust settled my grades were better than I thought they would be. mostly A's (like my mom loves to hear). I am still fighting with the school about one of my grades, which is somewhere out there, and I wish to retreive it (cross your fingers). I return to school on the 6th and will hopefully be student teaching this spring, although the school has not given me a placement as of yet, (cross you fingers on that one too). So really Santa treated me well and I am looking forward to getting back to school, if that's possiable. (cross your fingers).

Snow

Today it snowed, I was in a car (not mine) listening to Stacy Orico and suddenly there were about 10 flurries and then nothing but I still maintain that it was the 'first snow' of the year for me! I don't usually like to see snow but this year I make an exception because it's been so dang warm lately that I am enjoying the prospect of having some snow... just some.

Agape

This weekend I got to (on a fluke) go to my boyfriend's church for a seminar on the Love of God. It was really interesting and I enjoyed it a lot. It made me think about how much God does love me, and how often I don't think about it and how I need to really abide in His love because his love is for me and I am special. I also got more comfortable at his church and with his pastor (who is a nice man).
in conjunction with all of this I found that I like adding English ending to Greek words. such as Agape. (meaning love). Here are some examples:
1. I agaped him until he broke my heart.
2. I am agapeing these shoes!
3. My mother agapes me.

you can also use endings from other languages, such as spanish.
agapeindo you all!

More Jesus, Less World

Faith and Fear are made of the same, both faith and fear beleive that something that can't be seen will happen.

Many things are needed, only one thing is necessary.

God is good. I am realizing this more as I spend more time with him. Try it.

Good Day

Things that are Good about Today:
1. I passed my CST (261)
*yeah for me!*
2. The sun is shining and I'm not wearing a scarf for the first time in 5 days
3. My sister is having a worse day than I am. (sorry about the yougurt)
4. I had breakfast with my roomie
5. Midterms aren't quite as scary today. :)
6. Jesus loves me (I learned that in sunday School)

Too Little Too Late

So I've been reading blogs from friends (because I'm a bad one and I have no other way of finding out what is going on in their lives than reading their online blogs) but I am encouraged to see that I am not the only one who is overwhelmed with being a Sr. in college. I am not the only one who has taken on too much in an effort to fit it all in to the last 'wonderful' moments of being in college. I am not alone in feeling disillusioned that being a Sr. would suddenly make life exciting and add more hours to my days. I'm not the only one who has replaced good-byes with 'let's hang out sometime' (both sides knowing the whole time that seeing eachother is just a nice thought and won't acctually come to be)
Maybe I have loaded myself too full this semester, maybe I've taken on too much, maybe I set the standards too high for myself as a friend and girlfriend and student and employee. Maybe.
I like Meg's idea, I'm moving to Australia with her.

My Current State

I'm home, yes, I didn't go to my roomies for the weekend, even though it was her birthday party... I'm a bad friend. So I was going to stay at school for the break, then mandi needed me to come and meet her half way to pick up the girl who she took with her (cause the girl had to be back Mon and mandi's not coming back till Tue). So then I went to church, freaked out and then decided to come home. I packed in 3 min. and jumped in my car and went home. Life is good. (the only thing about packing in 3 min is that you forget things... like undergarments...) such is life.. I'm glad to be home.

just a note to those who wonder

There was valet parking, cocktail hour and a Russian ball room involved. Life is good.

Warm (Fuzzy) Things

I have three warm things... well four warm things I guess....
I have a warm fuzzy sweater from my mommy and my ami
I have a warm fuzzy feeling because the package I picked up today was for me! (last time I picked up a package, I opened it and inside was a HUGE fuzzy pink sweater, "Who would send this to me" I thought so I looked for a letter (there was none) so I looked on the outside and realized that they gave me the wrong package.... I felt so bad for opening it.
I also have warm coffee, which is not fuzzy (thank the lord)
And finally I have hot chocolate which is not warm at the moment (I'm drinking coffee) but it will be warm when I make it.
Thanks you mommy and ami for my package.. I can't wait to see you guys. sorry it won't be till Thanksgiving. :(
think warm fuzzy thoughts till then.

Tomorrow is a New Day

"Everyday is new, with no mistakes in it yet" -Anne
I like that quote, it's soothing to me, makes me feel better, like in a couple minuets all the crap that's going on will end.

I'll suddenly be able to take my private jet home for an evening to hug my mommy
I'll suddenly be able to write an expert essay on one or more novels from my class (I didn't 'get' any of them)
I'll suddnely be able to understand empty nest syndrome and will find a cure
I'll suddenly know what is going on with my big sister, whom I am feeling so disconnected from I feel like I should take my private jet there first.
I'll suddenly be seeing my roommate whom I haven't talked to in going on 3 days now
I'll suddenly have 4 more hours in my day to get done the things I didn't get done yesterday and last week

I have a feeling that in a couple minuets I will be in bed, and I will have forgotten the problems of today, and maybe just maybe when I wake up I can stay in a blissfully ignorant state for a little bit.
A little bit would be nice.

My Cell Phone Made Me Do It.

so you ever have times in your life when you are fully convinced that everyone you know is insane? That no one knows what's going on and that you should know because you figured out that someone should know what's going on? I'm there. Stuff at home is ... shall we say... not so good? I can't call my big sister to talk to her and ask her expert advice (plus she's going insane and chatting with coworkers about undergarments at lunch) I can't call my lil sis because she's at school and just as crazy as my older sister and I are. My brother is to young to sholder the burden which I carry (how formal does that sound). My father apparently cries everytime he hears my name (either from insanity or out of distress for my current state) I'm pretty sure it's both. My mother and I can't seem to have a conversation where one of us doesn't cry. Maybe it's this cell phone? I'm getting a new one soon... hopefully. Maybe that will help. That's it, let's blame the cell phone.

The Sun is Shining

I took a test today... it took me 2 hours... it was sopposed to take 4 hours... I got lost on my way there but my amazing directionally challenged self redirected me and I made it to the testing site with 20 min to spare... I took the test and didn't fall asleep even though I had to get up at like 6am this morning to take the test... There were people up and blowdrying thier hair even before I was in the shower... I am fairly sure that I passed the test...my phone is in a box ... currently I have more phones than miss brenda... I have 3 phones... :) ... I am smiling because I have had a wonderful day... The sun is shining.. my roomie is amazing... my mom is lovely and efficent... my sisters are beautiful (even though they never call me)...and did I mention that the sun is shining?

A Necessary Repetition

It's been a while... but life has been rough. (the understatement of the month). Yesterday I had a Stasi moment. to clarify, I have this sister, whom I love. She sometimes has moments where she stops functioning. Where life just gets too overwhelming. And all bodily functions shut down. I was sitting in a field talking to my mother the other day (I have the world's best mom by the way). So I'm in the field, just crying and having a breakdown and my mom is trying to calm me down and I realized that this is what it's like for Stasi when I am talking to her. It's all stuff she knows, all stuff I know. It's all stuff she's told herself, stuff I've told myself. But it's still stuff she needs to hear, I need to hear. Life is sometimes like that. A series of repetition that is necessary. So one more time: just for repetitions sake: I love you mom! thanks a million for being there for me! and thanks to Stasi, and Ami and Matt and Pastor Dave. You're all great!
**I'm doing better now**

just for you

Just to update you all, don't get to used to the idea of Mandi with a peirced nose, she had to take it out. Apparently she is allergic to Surgical steel and she broke out in hives yesterday pretty badly. She's on the upswing now but sad about the nose peircing. That's all the time I have. more later

Unproductive

Hey all, this is abi, feeling kind of unproductive. ok not just feeling but being.
I don't have classes on Tues. or Thur. most times I will work both jobs on these days, but today I am only working at JCCY (without sarah!! AHH) And that means that I have sooo much more time to get caught up on work so that later when pple want to hang out I will be able to. BUT I have not been doing work, I have been reading Harry Potter (I'm almost done) and talking to Mandi and dancing around the room and I still haven't showered and I still haven't gotten dressed. But I have to do that soon cause Mandi and I are going to have her nose peirced, YEAH! we have been planning it for a bit and now we are going to do it. fun. I'm not getting any extra holes in me though so don't worry mom.
today on the way to breakfast (yeah I've been doing nothing that long), we were wondering if you could gage your nose peircing? like a spare nostril, what do you think? and if it rained would you drown or would you have to get a gage with a plug? We thought it was interesting, maybe we'll ask when we go to get her nose peirced (we decided she shouldn't gage it though, because we are wise)
Alright well that's really it. Classes are going ok, too much reading for my likeing but I get to see family this weekend hopefully..... love you all!

Simply Life as Usual

I'm back at school... can't remeber if I said that already, prolly. So last night there was a hurricane here in Nyack. (or the outskirts of a hurricane, I'm not a uber-weatherwoman yet) I was in Queens and had to get back and as we were driving toward the tapan-zee we saw a tree blocking the road comming off the Tappan-Zee (I'm not sure if there are two "p's" or not) So Jimmy was stuck in Nyack for a couple hours till they cleared the tree... that wasn't a very exciting story if you didn't see the HUGE tree blocking all the lanes of traffic. (you'll get over it I bet) So life here is good. (other than the hurricane) How is life for you?

update

So today I started classes: no classes this semester on any days starting with a "T"! so tomorrow I'm off to do stuff I need to get done for my two independent studies.
*small happy dance*
Just got out of my first class as a Sr. the prof is ok, not the most interesting and only because he makes a LOT of connections. which usually I would find interesting however he connects everything too much until you can't see the connections anymore just a web of messy connections. I think though that once he's only talking about one book instead of 8 it will improve and bost being an interesting class. I also enjoyed his tirade on being on time for class after he himself was 10 min. late to class... I love Nyack!
The next class is Children's Literature, Wed. are literature days with Modern Novel and Children's literature. It should be fun and interesting!
I have yet to look at books, to price them or order them or anything, but I figure most of them I can get from the local libraries, which is good cause I'm 'a poor college student'.
On that 'poor' note, I do have two jobs this semester, one at good old picture people, although I am not a manager this year and will not be working as many hours as in past years. I will again be working at the after school program, JCCY (Jewish Community Center for Youth) I just learned what it stands for! yeah me!
that's the update on me... what's going on with you?

Bedlum

An amendum for those of you who also read Miss Brenda's blog on Bedlum.
while doing some further research on the word and it's origin and meaning. I found that bedlum is also a term or name used to describe a cross dressing DJ. Since my name was associated with the post saying that bedlum is a wondering hoodlum, I wanted those of you who are in search of truth to have a resource where you can find the answers.

My Favorite Havener

So yesterday Alex and I went minigolfing (there should be hyphen there huh?) It was a ton of fun. Last summer we spent so much time together but this summer I have missed not seeing him as much, what with me being at work and him being with the sitter. I realized how hard it's going to be to leave home to go back to school. (not that the thought could disuade me from going) I'll miss him... no offence to the other wonderful Haveners but I believe Alex has won the spot of "My Favorite Havener" of the week...

Showers of Blessings indeed

So the summer is nearing its end. It's been full of suprises both expected and unexpected, good and bad. But there's nothing really to complain about. Jimmy was here this past weekend. He went to the family reunion. It wasn't the most sucessful showing I'm sure, but we left with out being run out or cursed at. (I guess the family has more class than that) Really it wasn't bad. I liked being able to see him! A lot. We had some great talks and some time together before I go back to school and we only have limited time to see eachother.
Lately God has been doing some awesome things in the way of showing me great things that I should have known for a long time but have conveniently forgotten... Like that he loves me and that I need to recognize that in my everyday life. That He wants to be a big part of my everyday life, not just Sunday mornings and select days throughout the week when I feel spiritual. It's been encouraging. Thank the Lord for parents, writer, pastors and church family who in their own ways reflect the love that the Lord desires to shower upon me!

All Creatures of Our God and King

This morning as you can see, I awoke at an earlier time than usual. I made some coffee and then sat outside for a bit (just a couple min but still). The mornings are beautiful, unmarked, they remind me that every day is new with no mistakes in it yet. If you are anything like me, your day is full of mistakes by the end. But in the morning you don't have to think about that. You can just focus on the wonderful creation of God. (and the frew brewed coffee isn't bad either)

Ho Humm

Life's been pretty ho-humm lately. Just chillin with the Fam. Alex and I spent some quality time together after P.D. had surgery on his neck/back on Fri. That was good cause I miss that little guy. Last summer I spent SOO much time with him... like every waking moment. but this summer miss brenda saw fit to hire a sitter 3 or so days a week, cutting into my time with the little guy! We are going to go minigolfing soon, prolly next week. We'll see. Other than that I realized today that this summer I've been kinda a recluse. Not that I don't have the opportunity to hang out with my friends (what few are in the area this summer) Just that lately I haven't been in the mood to be with anyone, friend or foe. It's strange... I'm missing them though.. I need to make an effort to see them all b-4 they go back. HO-HUMM

Presb.

So this summer I am working at a presb USA church. They really aren't I guess if you think about it hard. Presb. I mean. really they spend more time offending others in their presbetary and making fun of them that they really aren't part of it... at least not in spirit. Which makes me think about why they are in it at all.. but that's not for me to debate.
Tonight they had the Beaver/Butler Presb. mtg here. It was quite an ordeal, and the air conditioning broke and it was sooo disgusting in the worship center.. gross, I got sick just from walking in the room... But that's all over now.
They have a book of order which is a book of rules and proceedures... that was strange, you learn something new everyday!
I liked it though it bought me an extra day off this week... or half day depending on when I take it. :)

Vacation

Vacation, vacation, lovely vacation... I did a tour of the East coast. Starting with Nyack and ending who knows where. I got to Nyack, had coffee and a thunderstorm with Jimmy and then went to bed. Had lunch the next morning with Jenny (who's working up there this summer) and then left for Delta! (with directions that sounded like: get on the thruway, go for two hours then get off, find 26, there are roads in between there but we don't really know them, then you'll pass dollar general and eckard and then the Salvation Army camp on the right we are about 2 min past that...) (Thanks to Anders and Mandi who's directions actually did get me there)
OMG if I could live up there I would. I got there and attended the Haven Talent Show... which this year features many talents including but not limited to; juggling, karate, many dance solos, cowboy and indians (in which a camper 'shot' counselors with his finger and they all fell down), a dramatization of Bible stories (one in which Daniel saved Joseph from the lions den) and my favorite Joyce who 'acted like a tree'! (one arm up and the other out to the side, it was delightful)
I spent two nights there with Mandi... in the most adorable little cabin imaginable. it had these shutters... wow, I want shutters like those in my dream home, they were soooo neat.
Haven was an experiance that I'll not forget for many moons to come, from being told to 'be good' to the many high fives and ending with the whistles from Esteban's campers... I had soo much fun...
Plus the best part of all I got to see my Mandi.

Oh to be on vacation forever!

Mandi made me fall in love with this song: plus it's called "Bannana Pancakes"... could you not love it? I don't think so:

You hardly even notice When i try to show you
thisSong is meant to keep you From doin what your supposed to
Wakin up too early Maybe we could sleep in
Makin banana pancakes
Pretend like its the weekend now
We could pretend that all the time
Cant you see that its just rainin
There aint no need to go outside
Lady lady love me
Cuz i love to lay here lazy
We could close the curtains
Pretend like theres no work outside
We could pretend that all the time
Cant you see that its just rainin
There aint no need to go outside

Blessings and Adventures

Hey all, since I have had requests for an update.. let's see, what is there to say?
Boys: I was hanging out with Jeremy this summer however we had it out and we are no longer talking, (other than one random text the other day). I am talking to Jimmy again (just friends, save the speaches). I am still talking to Dustin (again just friends). So I have a lot of friends, who people would like to make out to be more but they aren't. So if you have any guys that you'd like to throw my way... (my Gram is on the look-out, it makes me feel a bit of a loser) :(
School: I am nearing the end and can see the light (I'm running toward it full speed!) Just one more semester of classes and then student teaching.. and I'm done! thanks goodness since I'm fed up with the school at the moment. (Isn't it a federal offence to hold someones mail for 3 months and then say you sent it?) If you could make my mail (including two paychecks) appear that would be fabulous! O and I finally have a room to sleep in (another miracle worked by Nyack after 4 phone calls to 3 different people) Oye
Family: Alex went to sleep away camp this summer (I missed him like crazy!) Ami is working a TON and is getting along fine with me. Thank goodness she goes away soon, cause maybe we'll make it the whole summer. Dad's having surgery and Mom is losing weight like a mad woman. We went to the drive in last night and we say half of Pirates II. Yes I said half, we wittnessed the transformer at the drive-in blow up.. it was pretty neat, except I don't know how the movie ends... :(
Friends: well I don't hear much from them lately (boo hiss) but I think they are all doing fine. I'm headed to Nyack this coming week. and then up to Rome to see Mandi! YEAH DELTA! (I'm gonna meet everyone, even Judy)
Work: I'm not really working (I won't brag so you won't hate me) My job is GREAT!

so there you have it folks, when you put it all on paper, it looks so miniscule... really my life is full of blessings and adventures...

One liners

So Rob is here (ami's 'boyfriend') well I guess he is her boyfriend (sin quotation marks) He's fun. She decided to keep him around.
We flew kites yesterday.. tons of fun! a seagull and a falcon.. what an unlikely pair.
I am not prepared for teaching preschool today.
I come to NY in about a week! YEAH!



"I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen"

Triumphant!

Kidzcamp has come to a triumphant close (that's my new 'magic' word for the day) (Mrs O would be sooo proud)! It was fabulous... all the kids and the great and the leaders were wonderful and the experiance, as always was one of a kind. This made it all worth the 16 hr/day work week, the 'too-many-to-count' trips to Starbucks, the gruelling headaches, uncooperative projectors, 'too-many-to-count' jobs to be done (all at once), and the rain that threatened to banish me inside all week (I was leading games). Kids came to know Christ in a deeper way and the leaders (including myself) were reinforced with the simple truths that Jesus is our Helper, Leader, Friend, Savior and Life. Sometimes we make Jesus too complicated in 'Big people church' that we forget that really he's just our friend and Savior. Well Dixi is calling my name so I best go.... Love ya all (today is a GREAT DAY!!) the first in a long time.

Dance on!

This morning at 4am I woke up fully clothed and I was surrounded by sponges cut into the shape of fish... this was not a dream... My life is weird but "I like to move it, move it"!! dance on my friends

A Tribute To Matt

I would like to send big hugs to Matt who is the only person who actually reads this thing! I am so lucky to have you as a friend. Your qwarks keep me guessing what's next but you are solid as a rock and dependable as a friend... so thanks for being there for me all this time! and thanks for reading my mundane thoughts.

How Many Sombreros can you Fit in a Box?

I love my job! I have the same job this summer that I raved about last summer... I still love it. I get to solve puzzles like "How many Sombreros can you fit in a box?" and "What color are Chipmunks lips?" as well as "How do you think the elders will feel about a hole in the ceiling?" and "How does a credit card get $20 over the limit? (who knew that could happen?)" If you think you have solved any of these puzzles let me know... I do in fact have the answer to how many sombreros you can fit into a box as well as how much it will cost you to send said box to Navada!

Father's Day

To all the fathers out there... Happy Father's day! My own father couldn't make it to his own celebration which was fine with Ami and I because we didn't have a celebration planned anyway. We just got back from buying his card... unfortunatly if you buy your father's day card at 6pm ON Father's day there is no discount... maybe on the day after, we have yet to check that one out. The card is cute but we found also that Walmart doesn't carry any truely sentimental cards (the ones that make 'grown men' cry). maybe that's just cause they were all bought up??
So we are making a cake for my dad (he wanted an ipod but we figured cake was just as good) and the box (of course it's a box) calls for unsalted butter... check you fridge.. you don't have any. So ami just got home and I must go and make this cake..... again Happy Father's day.

Grand Day

In true workaholic style I have not updated in FOREVER... and I'm updating from work. But I am having fun too. on Wed. I went down to connellsville and hung out with Jeremy Keefer (2 F's?? oh well) Not to be confused with Johnathan Keefer who I hung out with a couple weeks ago. I know I know, how DO I keep them all straight? I'm not sure. But really I am haveing a blast I spent last night chillin wiht Anne's boys. They are a riot.. yeah for huge penis' on the driveway when the mother comes home!! :) don't ask. Life is interesting but good. Thanks for all the prayers (if you have ever prayed for me)!! have a Grand day

workaholic

I am a workaholic.... I am admitting it... noone will see this so it doesn't matter... have a great day... i'm off to work... (really)

What a Game!

So we went to the Pirate game yesterday, and today I guess you could say. I know that the longest game in Pirate history was long ago but the one last night sure felt like it was the longest ever. Starting at 7pm and ending at about 1am, 18 innings were played. That's a LOT of baseball. Alex was complaining in the 2 inning that the game was too long. (he fell sound asleep about the top of the tenth, and only woke up when Bautista hit a hommer to tie it up at 7-7) What a game, and I'm not even a huge baseball fan. I followed the Mets when I was dating Jimmy and I kinda know when the Astros play because of Dustin but really, I'm not a baseball girl, I can get into it. Jen and I sang 'take me out to the ballgame' just as loud as the guy across the isle during the 14th inning streach. What a game!

Ha Ha That Never Happens

So last night I went out with Matt Harrington and Jonathan Keefer... he he he.. what a mix huh? well it went well, after the initial shock of Matt in a kilt, Jonathan handled himself well. We went bowling and.. I won! Ha Ha.. that never happens.. then I got treated to icecream for winning.. Ha Ha.. that never happens either.. then I went to sleep at a decent hour, I think... I kinda don't remember... Which does happen often. So over all last night was a sucess.. so today I work for the Bossies... I'm glad I remembered.. cause I almost forgot!!

quicky

So I'm home... I think I said that already. I'll give you the quick update, it's Dad's day off work, and his 'music' has invaded all the corners of the house making it VERY hard to think about anything... so I will give you the recap of the last little bit.
I started on Mon at Fountain Park, It's tons of fun there all the time, Nadine (my 'boss') is lots of fun, she's new too so we are working through things together. No staff mtg this week YEAH!!
I am also babysitting for a family in the community, that starts Fri. Should be interesting... more on that later (when there is more)
I am home!! I love spending time with my sisters and brother and dog and mother and father...
I'm going out tonight with a devout Christian and Matt Harrington my budhist! this will be fun, hopefully we can bond over bowling and some appitizers at Applebees... we'll see..

My Update

apparently I don't update enough so... here goes

I have recently been contacted by Jimmy, and guess what? he doesn't hate me.. that was GREAT news and I am overjoyed to even have had that one conversation with him. (it may have been our last, but such is life right?)
I am home now and I really have done nothing, my official job doesn't start till the 22nd which gives me time to pack up my sister Stasi, 'I thought she already left' you may say and I would reply 'why yes, she has, but all of her stuff has stayed and thrown a HUGE party, made apparent by the disarray it is in.'
All of my stuff needs unpacked as it baked for another day in the driveway, still packed in my car, which is undrivable because of all the stuff packed into it. My life seems to be a mess, but really I'm happy with the mess that it is..
This is exactly how I hoped to spend my summer... NOT! (remember that?)

So really I'm just hopeing to have fun this summer and I need to make some people aware that I am home and then the fun shall comence..
Also pray for Alex, there's this thing going on and I'm not at liberty to say, but please pray, he's ok... for now.

So there it is.. my update

MANDI

My Mandi is home!!! I've been on the phone with her for an hour and a half-an-hour... It's so good to hear her voice... I've missed her so much.. but now she's home!! YEAH!!

I hate finals!

A Feminist? HUH?

I just got an email asking me if I wanted to buy a book titled: "Evangelical Feminism: A New Path to Liberalism?"
If this is what I am interested in now I am suprised... This is a whole new take on myself... I'm cool with that.

So I just finished my Romans final... WOW, you know how people always say 'my head hurts' Well I've always thought that was an expression, ITS NOT! who knew? my head is hurting literally from that final... ouch.
Two more today.. wish me luck.. buen suerte!

Sinful

I know this can be hard but right now you must be your strongest and remember that the remainder is taken care of. When he died on the cross of calvary your weakness was atoned for. When you are weak, he is your strength, even when you are strong, he is stronger still. So rely on Him now! Turn you eyes to the hills where you help comes from, run to the Father whoes outstreached arms will hold you safely. Run to the protector who would and has died to save you. Until you can do this, you are only half living. you are living a finite life with a soul that was ment for infinity. you are a princess of the king, not just any king but the king of kings. So why tamper with the sins of those who have fallen? Do you think you, in your finite strength can resist the Prince of Darkness, you are not the same. You will fail on your own accord so turn to the only one who can sustain you, who can protect you, who can love you with a love that saved the world, who can see deep into your heart and judge you there and not on your outward appearance. Turn to the words he's sent you, to the people who are his, to him directly. He will be there, maybe silently at first but wait, he will comfort and heal for his is the greatest healer and comforter you will ever encounter in all you few years. He is waiting. What wil you choose, will you allow him to be enough or will you live in the lies of the Prince of Darkness? It's your choice, he gave it to you.

Amazing At Something

So I went to my mailbox today (where all good news comes from) and I found this pink slip that was obviously campus mail and I was about to throw it away when I realized that it was personalized and that it was about awards chapel. Now this semester I do not have to go to chapel, I am work exempt so I have only been to one chapel this semester and that was the one that Rachel spoke at cause I promised that I would go.
ANYWAY
I am being recognized for ... something... who knows what.. like I said I don't go to chapel and my grades this semester are sure as heck not up to any academic awards. I am receiving an award at the Education banquet but it wouldn't be the same award that I would receive in chapel because we do all of our awards in house in the Education department. So I'm being recognized for more than one great annonomous thing that I have done this semester...But I don't know what it could possibly be for either of them. ... I'll let you know when I find out what they are so I can tell you! but know that I am amazing at something!!

Easter

I was home and now I'm back home. It's strange having two homes. Both with people you love living there, and churches that you want to attend for Easter. Over all Easter was GREAT! I participated in 4 services and I got to do the sunrise service with my dad (although he forgot to mention that it was going to outside in the 40 degree weather. That's what blankets are for I guess) I love Easter at my house b/c although we do all the Easter bunny and Egg hunt stuff, we also focus on the good stuff like the resurrection and celebrating Christ's victory! That's what really takes the foreground in my house and I really appriciate that my parents strive to remind us of that each year. (not that I don't like the basket hunts) So yeah.....
now I'm back at school and really feeling pretty laid back for the amout of stuff I have to get done for this comming week. 2 research papers and 2 case studies and mountains of other stuff. but in 3 weeks I will be done.. and I'll be on my way to being a Sr! it's kinda scary ya know, cause I don't know what is in my future. All I know is that Jesus is there and I'm trusting him to work wonders in my life each day!

blessings

God does answer to prayers....

I don't care who is reading this

So this past week has been difficult and this may seem like a blast from the past to some of you who have been reading for a while and to those of you who stumble upon this well... this will all be new and exciting news!
So the reason this week has been difficult is because of my ex boyfriend. last week I couldn't go a day (literally) without someone asking me "How's Jimmy doing?" or "What's Jimmy up to?" or my favorite "So where's Jimmy I haven't seen him in a long time?" Well my reply to the last one is I haven't seen him in a long time either.
**History Lesson**
so Jimmy and I began dating this time last year. All was good and I really liked him, even though he was different than the other guys I usually dated, it was a great different! So all was going swimminly, he came to Pittsburgh and we did the city thing and then I came back to NY and we did a met game, which was really fun. But then I came back to school and he was commuting. We both had crazy schedules and didn't see each other much, which caused tention. So then because of the tention I began to see other problems in the relationship. Such as me being the sole support for him and my being really needy because he was so nurturing. We relyed too heavily on eachother and it was a destructive relationship, being destroyed slowly. I didn't want to break up with him. But it wasn't fair to either of us to stay in the realtionship. Because we didn't have less feeling for eachother after the break-up, it was difficult and he left school and I kinda closed myself off. we haven't talked since that horrible day (ok that's a bit dramatic but true in fact)
**back to the future**
So I couldn't get away from people who wanted to know about Jimmy this past week, which brought up a lot of the stuff that I never dealt with. I kinda just burried all my feelings when we broke up and now they are resurfacing and demanding to be dealt with. So on Tues. Heather tells me that she saw Jimmy in the Cafe. "When, Why, For What?" all raced through my mind. I know the when and probably the for what.. but the why? well that will probably always be a mystery. Because I emailed him to appoligize for some of the crap that I put him through and he hasn't emailed me back... and really it's sick because I check my email now twice a day and like a pathetic little girl I hope to see an email from him saying that he forgives me. But none are there, and I really deep down know that none will ever be there. It just makes it hard. Really hard.
So this difficult week is of my own making, but I'm having Ben-N-Jerry night with Ami tomorrow so hopefully that will make things all better.. (don't I wish)

Alone

So I never understood what that guy ment when he said he 'was lonely even in a room full of people'. But this month, this semester I do. Mandi isn't here but really, there must be more. That can't be the sole reason I feel so meloncaully. There are days when I sit in my room alone, and feeling sad for myself b/c I have noone to hang out with then, someone will call and invite me out and what does sad little me do?... I politely decline and make up an excuse why I can't go. Then I continue to feel sad for my lonely self. How pathetic is that. I rationalize in my head that they dont want to really hang out with me and that I wouldn't have fun or that they wouldn't have fun if I went. Really I know those are all lies. I have wonderful friends who love me and I always have fun with them, even when you would think fun is impossiable.
But what can cause this? this ... I don't wanna call it depression but... this meloncaully feeling? The feeling that none of your friends want to be bothered with you, or the feeling that you are fat and ugly and the feeling that you will be single and strange for the rest of your human life and that you might just might be reencarnated as a toad. This makes me sadder to be writing about my pathetic life. So please don't comment just read and join me in my feeling of being alone even in the sea of friendly faces that surround me.

random

My life has exploded.. if you could see my bedroom you would understand. it's nice not having a roommate to share all this space with but I love my Mandi and wish she was here to kick my butt into gear (she was always good at that). But she's in Fiji and haveing a grand time, swimming like a fish and fishing with a spear, really all I hear about are fish so... anyway yesterday I was having a crappy busy day and I went to my mailbox and I had a pink slip! (which means there is a package for you!) so I went and picked it up and it was my b-day gift from Mandi! that sly fox had her sister send me a package for my birthday! That's why I love her. God is so GOOD!
Plus my Daddy is comming to see me this next week (well not me specifically but still...)
Maybe this week isn't as crazy as I thought it was .. but .. its almost over.. how time flies

Celebrate

So I'm 21 now.. wooooppy-do! (that's real excitement not sarcastic excitement) I didn't do anything exciting this year.. or the year before, or any of my birthday's that I can remember, well there was maybe one. My family sees birthdays as something that is expected, why celebrate? you survived another year. we expected you to do that. I guess it's not until you don't survive another year that you wish you had celebrated all those years before. My family feels the same way about high school graduation and college graduations, I'm not sure yet but I don't think weddings are out of the ordinary either. And for me it double sucks cause I have amazing sisters who are both genuises, and so if anyone gets a celebration it's them and I stand no chance.
I'm really not just depressed or having a bad day it's just the facts of life. For my 21st birthday I had to hound my father to come out to dinner with my sister and I, I received no cards and only one gift (a bunny-bop-n-toss) from Micah, my sister's boyfriend.
I'm also not telling you this so you feel bad for me, like I said this is just the facts of life. I enjoy my family because I know that they have high expectations for me, they push me, in a healthy way. But just sometimes I wish SOMETHING was good enough for a celebration. we are a family full of joy, each of us on our own and when we are together, I guess we celebrate every moment so when one moment has a great life event, our celebration just goes on.
For once I want to feel celebrated.

A Strange Grange

So this week I'm home from school for Spring Break and we are just hanging out (Stasi and Ami and I) becasue Stasi is leaving for Slovakia in the next two weeks. So I came home Fri night and Sat I got up early to sing on the WT and then we went shopping for an outfit for me to wear on my outing that night... we were going square danceing!!! it was sooo much fun! (we didn't dress funny in the end).. it was kinda a blind outing for me because I didn't have a guy to take so I was going with Judah's friend Gerry... That was fun, he was kinda akward (well not him) The situation (well not that either) OK so lets just say it was a little off (I'm not sure how to express how I feel in words sometimes) So we went square dancing..
First we got lost.. so I know a LOT about Gerry cause all we could do was talk, we talked about Broasting (Do you even know what that is?) and I now know what a grange is! So we got there and the square dance, first of all you do dance in a square.. it's crazy, who knew (I never did this in HS gym) Alright so also I learned how to *alaman left* which I can't explain but I can show you if you ask... and well now I can say that I can square dance... (do you think you can put that on your resume?)

Dear God

Dear God- I can't escape work for a moment.. now they are sending me emails!!! AHHHH

Life Sucks

Life seems to suck lately... everyone I know has had a crappy week, well they wouldn't say that.. all my friends are terriably upbeat about life but; some of them are expelled, some are suspended, some are severing relationships they have had and treasured for a long time, some are saying a hard goodbye, and still others are just overwhelmed with life in general. I am having a fine week, and I feel bad. I wish I knew how to be there for each one..
**Ami needs Mango snapple if anyone is in PA**
**Lauren could use a hug if you're in the neighborhood**
**Stasi could use a personal assistant if anyone is looking for something to do**
**I could use a term paper or two**
**Everyone could use a couple more hours in their day**
It's hard for me to see friends in need and not be able to help. I can buy presents, I can give hugs, I can be the sholder to cry on, I can even be the one to tuck them in at night after a long day but all of that just seems so empty, like I'm only scratching the surface of the problem.. I wish I could just get rid of it, but I can't. Life sucks that way.

The most interesting thing

So I thought to myself, 'I should update this so if on the off chance that someone will come accross my little parcel of cyber space they will have something to read, and won't think that this is an abandoned site.' But then the delema came to me that nothing interesting has happened in the past month or so for me to write about.. I could write about Justin and how he's on strike three with Nyack and still swinging strong, or how Rachel needs prayer cause everyone is dying in her family in the past month. I could even write about my sister who is mad at me for telling her to marry the man of her dreams, or how I am ready to punch my boss in the face and walk out of the job. But none of that really strikes me as interesting... but then I did some reading for my Multicultural Classroom class and BAM there it was.. the topic for this blog...
**side note**
that's how sad my life is, the most interesting thing I have to write about came from a reading for one of my classes.. how pathetic am I
**back to the most interesting thing ever**
We are talking about being white.. something that I can identify with. They are talking about how whites have privilages that they don't even think about and as I read this list I realized that this is so true.. I take all of these things for granted.. so read them and if you are white.. which do you think is the most interesting one to think about. .and if you are not white.. just read them..some apply to you.. some don't but really I think everyone can learn from this list....:
1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.
2. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchassing houseing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.
3. I can be pretty sure that my neighborhood on such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me
4. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed
5. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented
6. When I am told about our national heritage or about 'civilizaton' I am shown that pople of my color made it what it is
7. I can be sure the my children will be given curricular materials tha testify to the existance of thier race.
8. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this peice on white privilage.
9. I can go inot a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into the hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.
10. Whether I use cheeks, credit cards, or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability
11. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them
12. I can swear or dress in second hand clothing or not answer letters without having people attribute these choices t the bad morals, the poverty, or the illiteracy of my race.
13. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial
14. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.
15. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group
16. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion
17. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.
18. I can be pretty sure the if I ask to talk to 'the person in charge' I will be facing a person of my race.
19. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.
20. I can easily buy posters, postcars, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featureig people of my own race.
21. I can go home form most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, out numbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared
22. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having coworkers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.
23. I can choose public accomidation witout fearing that people of my race can not get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chossen.
24. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my race will not work against me
25. If my day, week, or year have gone badly I need not ask of each episode or situation whether it has racial overtones.
26. I can choose blemish-cover or bandages in 'fleshl color and have them more or less match my skin.


List taken from:
McIntosh, P. (n.d.). White privilege: unpacking the incisible knapsack. Fondations for living, 128-132.

My 'Best Friend'

So have you ever had that one friend who is always going to be your friend, no matter where you are or what you do? Well Meg is that to me and I was thinking of her today and decieded to write a bit of a tribute to her.. I guess you could call it that. I just wanted to encourage you all to tell your 'best friend' just what makes them your 'best friend'. when you were young you prolly had about 5 'best friends' then college hit and your had maybe 3 'best friends', now where do you find yourself, with more or less 2 or not even? Hold on to those who you have. call them, appriciate them, spend time growing closer to them (if that's possiable). But most of all just be that friend to someone else. The world will be a better place.
**
I must stop before I am compelled to enter the Miss America pagent and wish for 'world peace' in front of the entire nation.
**
suffice to say, thanks Meg for all the prayers and tears and crap that you've put up with, I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you!